Forum Coordinators: RedPhantom
Poser - OFFICIAL F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Oct 31 4:59 pm)
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic.
If someone hits you over the head with a coffee cup, have you been mugged?
Wanna hear a joke about a pizza? Oh never mind it's too cheesy [That's the problem pizza jokes - it's all in the delivery].
If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me to get lost, I could buy Manhattan.
Doctor: I've got bad news and I have worse news.
Patient: Oh, my! Well, give me the bad news first...
Doctor: You've got 24 hours to live.
Patient: Oh my God! What news could possibly be worse than that?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me to get lost, I could buy Manhattan.
How can you tell when there's a singer at your door?
He can't find the key and comes in at the wrong time.
How do you get rid of the guitarist at your door?
Pay for the pizza.
Did you hear about the bass player who locked the keys in the van?
It took him two hours to get the drummer out.
What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do you say to a drummer with two black eyes?
Nothing. You told him twice.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Vladimir Putin’s name is not pronounced “pyoo-tin”.
We know this because putin is also the Russian for a metal gazunda, and it is pronounced, as might be inferred from the use to which a gazunda is put, as “poo-tin”.
Our gazundas are of higher quality, being made of china, and sometimes are decorated inside with witty sayings. That's democracy for you.
The difference between capitalism and communism...
In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it's the other way round.
How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
JUST ONE!!! AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
What does a dog do that people step in?
Pants.
What ends in -it and is found at the bottom of a bird cage?
Grit.
What does a dog do on 3 legs, a man does standing and a woman does sitting?
Shake hands.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Content Advisory! This message contains profanity
Guitarist terminology for the beginner:
Volume control: A device which regulates the output of a guitar, and which must always be set on 10.
Vibrato arm: A system for varying the pitch of the strings during playing, and which returns the strings to almost the correct pitch after use.
Take six: "Colin, you STUPID bastard!"
Drum solo: Cigarette and pee break.
Keyboardist: Insufferable control freak and paranoic bastard.
Bass Player: Our slightly simple brother in strings.
Drummer: Cognitively challenged bringer of scrap metal.
Drum Machine: More intelligent than drummer, since you only have to punch the information in once.
Other guitarist: Nowhere near as good as me.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
My avatar tells you all you need to know about me. I know what a bunch of flakes we are. :)
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Cool. There are worse people to share your birthday with and I should know. April 20.
Buddy of mine brought his lefty Strat copy here a few days ago for me to give the once over. Just needed a squirt of contact cleaner and new strings. Had a little fun playing it, me being strongly right handed.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Content Advisory! This message contains profanity
Back to the topic, and seasonal...
Render making by an open fire
Load another scene and pose
Turn the dial make the sizes go higher
On good old Vicky without clothes.
Everybody knows
A temple and a great big sword
Always makes the picture right
Giant boobies, floating feet and cross eyes
And a thousand badly placed spotlights.
And in the gallery today
We'll see some oversize mammaries on display
And every Poser fan will criticize
Saying, "They really should be much bigger sized".
So I'm rendering another one
With norks so big it can't be true
And though it's been done many times, many days
We love Vicky, we love Vicky, nekkid Vicky, we do.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Content Advisory! This message contains profanity
I'm on a roll. This one is to the tune of "Rudolph"...
Aly the Poser 9 girl had a face like broken bricks
And if you ever saw it, it would likely make you sick
All of the Poser people used to laugh and make her sad
They said she was so ugly, she could make fresh milk go bad.
Then one day somebody said, "This will make your day...
Aly with your face so shite, Blackhearted will make you right!"
Now she's a happy dolly, looking every inch a babe
Great legs and lovely boobies, buns and face all thanks to Gabe!
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
No love for my Christmas songs? Boo hoo. :(
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Hehe, great song! Love esther
I aim to update it about once a month. Oh, and it's free!
SamTherapy posted at 10:44AM Sat, 10 December 2016 - #4291938
No love for my Christmas songs? Boo hoo. :(
You should record them and post the mp3's.... :D
If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me to get lost, I could buy Manhattan.
I think Bob Rivers has the market cornered there.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Here, however, is another...
I'm not a merry gentleman I'm getting quite dismayed
I really hope this render will be finishing today
Been watching now for sixteen hours and has it done? No way!
Oh sad tidings, I'm not a happy boy, happy boy
You could say I'm not a very happy boy.
The kids think dad's a loony and the wife says I'm a creep
Don't know the last time I had food, the last time I had sleep
The bucket size is tiny now, it makes me want to weep
Oh sad tidings, I'm not a happy boy, happy boy
You could say that I'm a very hacked off boy
I need to get a new machine with tons of memory
And petabytes of hard disk space sounds pretty good to me
Then I can render everything and still have time for tea
And I'll be an extremely happy boy, happy boy
I will be an absolutely happy boy.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
Love these songs. You should write for SM.
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader Monster of the North and The Shimmering Mage
Today I break my own personal record for the number of days for being alive.
Check out my store here or my free stuff here
I use Poser 13 and win 10
I'll write S&M if they pay me enough.
Anyhow, thank you. Feel free to pass them around if you so desire.
BTW, I'm a songwritist and guitarer so I'm right great with words, me. As you can tell.
Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.
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Content Advisory! This message contains profanity
Mom and dad were going at hot and heavy. Mom was on top of dad when junior interrupted them, wanting to know what was going on. Thinking quickly, mommy told him "daddy has a big tummy, I am just trying to push it back down."
The boy gave her a dismissive gesture and walked away from the room. "Don't bother, mom," he said. "The lady next door will just blow it up again tomorrow."
If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me to get lost, I could buy Manhattan.