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The Maiden

Writers Fantasy posted on Sep 12, 2008
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Description


There once lived a maiden, Angel, in the land of Nellbar, a land of great anquish and malice. It was written that much deceit, hatred and jealousy were amoung men, women and child. Brother against brother, friend against friend, and where the women were traded and used by the men, much as furs and weapons were traded off for personal gain. Angel came from a poor family in the village, never having much in the way of clothes or schooling. As a young child, she never had many friends, so she was content to live with her many childhood dreams. Dreams that would carry her to other lands where she was rich, not with things such as personal luxuries, but rather personal growth, a place where she was loved, needed and wanted. In this place there was a Knight, her Knight and He would rescue her from the only world she had ever known, where hatred of fellow men ran rampant and wild. He would take her to His world and and she would be His princess. The years past and Angel became a young woman of 18. many raved of her beauty, her long blonde hair, her sparkling blue eyes, her milky white skin, so soft and unblemished. Her mother warned her of the unruly, unkind men of Nellbar. Her mother feared for her because of her innocense and beauty. Angel told her mother of her Knight, how He would come and rescue her and take her from Nellbar. Oh how her eyes danced with visions of Him and His cole black stallion as He fought for her innocense with His mighty sword. Her mother would smile and tell her what a silly dreamer she was but angel didn't hear. She was lost in the thoughts of her galliant Knight. She knew He would come. Time past and her Knight had not yet come, but she did not give up hope. She clung to her dream. The morning light seeped through her window as she awoke to the the sound of many horses hooves. She ran to her window and saw her parents arguing and pleading with the lead rider. She wrapped her drab robe around her and ran to the door, opening it just as the rider buried his sword deep into her father's chest. She didn't hear her mother's screams, only her own as she stood there in shock and disbelief. One rider had come down from his horse and had grabbed her mother, shoving her to the ground. Angel ran outside to help her, but the head rider reached down and grabbed her, pulling her up onto his horse. She watched in horror as her fallen mother was stabbed over and over again, until she moved no more. She screamed and screamed some more, but no one who cared heard as the men galloped away from the only home she had ever known. ...........................TO BE CONTINUNED......

Comments (12)


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photostar

9:52AM | Fri, 12 September 2008

Very intense storyline so far, Marlene. You got me hooked on it.

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ontar1

12:42PM | Fri, 12 September 2008

Can not wait to find out what happens next, excellent story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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myquad

1:42PM | Fri, 12 September 2008

Great story, Marlene! I can't wait for the next installment!

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davidoblad

2:35PM | Fri, 12 September 2008

Gruesome beginning Marcy. Will be interesting to see where this leads.. Is this the start of a short story or a full lenght novel.. can't wait. Bravo and hugs from Dave :^)

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1010

3:50PM | Fri, 12 September 2008

Intense, an epic storu for sure. Has everything to keep the reader spellbound.

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Jay-el-Jay

11:32PM | Fri, 12 September 2008

A fine opening to this wonderful tale.

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DennisReed

2:05AM | Sat, 13 September 2008

Superb begining, I do look forward to more of this! Bravo!

Liam.

1:54AM | Sun, 14 September 2008

Yeah, I agree. Classical opening. Let's see what happens next...

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beachzz

1:00PM | Sun, 14 September 2008

Oh, you got me here, I'm glad I didn't see this at first, now I can see what happens NOW!!

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vaggabondd

7:17AM | Wed, 17 September 2008

Wow this is good stuff, I hope it ends with a happy ending. haha. nice writing

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Chipka

6:36PM | Sat, 04 October 2008

This is a fantastic hook...I really need to keep up with this and the other stuff popping up in your gallery! Oh, I'll be looking at more quite soon, and catching up. This is great! I'm hooked.

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Blush

1:43AM | Wed, 03 December 2008

Well I am now ready for the 2nd part to the story Got me reeled in hook line and sinker Hugs Your Ky sis Susan~


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