Marketing Jesus by davidoblad ()
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(Note: if you don't get it, at least read the bottom note)
The past meets the future.. today!
Yes.. with the help of the modern Science of Cloning,
and a blood sample taken from the Shroud of Turin, it will
soon become possible to purchase your very own Savior!
With the sterile and self cleaning Clone-Master 2000, every
Jesus will be guaranteed to be truly Immaculate!
When you tell your friends that you have a personal
relationship with Christ, they won't be able to argue
with your semantics. You are being quite literal.
Every home can have it's own Ministry. The Bible will become
obsolete when you can get the Truth straight from the Man
everyday and not just on Sundays.
Have to make a quick moral gray zone decision? Now it's as easy
as a cellphone call to home. You never need to sin again because
you simply wasn't sure of yourself at that moment.
We are devoted to bringing maximum good into this world and
with our technology, the Second coming of Christ will be
surpassed many times that, every minute, everyday.
That's a lot of good folks! Just think of all the benefits:
Imagine sending an Army of Jesus's into 3rd world countries
plagued with famine and disease. Problems solved overnight!
Imagine how handy They will be in the next flood disaster,
when search and rescue is no longer limited by the number
of available boats!
Strains on Hospitals, Churches and Farmers will be lifted almost
overnight, when every household can own a personal Jesus.
Very affordable too, think of the money you will be saving on
buying food and medical supplies or services for the family.
Much more clean, and very low maintenance, when compared to the
average household pet. Requires very little attention and gives
back your Love.. by the bucket loads!
So why wait? Place your pre-orders today while supplies are not
limited with production schedules. Your savings will be fantastic!
And if you order now, your Jesus will be delivered dressed in an
authentic looking historical garb, in your choice of several colors.
To new expectant owners: It is strongly suggested that you
remove all crucifix icons and images depicting the crucifixion
from your home before your Jesus is delivered!
No explanation for this simple courtesy should be needed.
So why wait any longer? Order your own Jesus today!
(Offer void where prohibited.)
Note: I got some behind the scenes heat on this. Some folks didn't get it.
Ok.. I have the utmost respect for Jesus and his teachings.
What I hate is Marketing and how they treat most things.
Example: $3.999 for gas. Thank God it's not $4.00 yet.. (get real, are we that stupid?)
I also love science but hate how it's being perverted in so many ways.
Anyway, I hope you get my little 'SPOOF'!
You all have a great week ahead now, ya hear!
Big hugs and best wishes to all.
Modeled in Wings3D
Rendered in Poser and Bryce
Touch up in Corel Paint
Image Comments (20)
Well what a rarity... When you post,you indeed post,with humor and a wild imagination... You better get a patent out on this clone now grin I messed up the last 2 comments and had to delete them I hope this one stays.. Make sure the clones....have Healing Hands to relive people of pain forever.... Ah yes the strains on the hospital...and the Drs as well...Not to mention Chiropracters..Hope I spelled that right...grin What a fantastic idea you came up with..and I love it... I sent ya a site e mail did you get it? If so let me know and I may give you a call tomorrow around 12 noonish my time... Love this and the details as well...and love the jugs with the color water sittting on top of The Clone Master.... Fantastic,and a fun idea...that could only come from you to us.... Brillant.... Hugs n love sweets Susan aka Blush~
Dave I don't know where to begin in talking about this amazing work except to say BRILLIANT !!! I have no idea how this vision came to you (maybe you already have your clone of him, lol) Seriously though your point with this is well taken and your sales pitch throughout this had me literally rolling. Of course like you said at the end, who better to clone :)
This is just so amazing...the concept is wonderful. I read a Michael Creichton book where they were taking DNA from the shroud for genetic material.I think in reality they have forbidden any more testing on the shroud because they do not want the DNA duplicated. You did an excellent job here.The modeling is fantastic and the scene is perfect! The sales pitch is hilarious and very thought provoking as well! All around a 10 star work! It is always a joy to see your new work...what will you think of next? I love it!!
This is very good, Dave. You are in for a lot of controversy, which is good for the mind and soul. Keeps us on our toes at all times. This piece also tickles the funny bone and leaves us with a good laugh. Something to think about and also realise what it's all about. You do have a weird sense of humor, that proves you are mine. This is a good one, and I love it, sweety. Huggs...Silkylady...
This is unbelievable!!! For the humor aspect, this is brilliant! I want my Jesus to be immaculate :) On the serious side, I don't think they'll ever clone a whole or complete person. I hope they never do. I understand the need for stem cells for curing the sick and I hope cloning is just a misdirection in the way of trying to find a better answer. I believe it will be banned eventually....sooner than later.
Hell Dave this could work for me but only if the company offered "The Prophet Mohammed" along with "Jesus Christ" and at a special discount. I was thinking along these lines. Buy "J.C" and get "T.P.M" for free. (vice-versa would work also). You see when I "have to make a quick moral gray zone decision". I will usually seek out a second opinion. Now a deal like that I just couldn't pass up. I'd purchase these two dudes sit them at my dining room table give "J.C" a bottle of wine and give "T.P.M" a can of orange juice, (he doesn't drink alcohol) and I would let them debate and battle over my case until they found a solution to my problem. Does this sound familiar to you ol buddy. Nothing controversial about this subject as far as I'm concerned. You gotta make a buck in this world ! ……………………………..(far out young fella)…..and yea the pic's cool also !
I don't go gallery hopping as much as I use to, you end up faving artists and before you know it, you've got 300 artists to write everyday - lol... but I did want to stop over here and see what artstyle you had... this is good. Cloning... my gallery is littered with it - lol... I'm into the angel,Demon, ghost thing... finished a series and starting a second one... I think this second story is going to get me some lip, probably what you got here by people without a sense of humor... I bet Jesus laughed... Who knows, he may of encouraged you to create this... I have thought about them cloning him from the clothe... I think cloning is going on right now, we just don't know about it. I think aliens are here too - aw, common... don't think I'm crazy - lol