Glowing Up I knew how much it all meant to her, that strange fascination she has for brass and glass, leather and lace, there was nothing else I had ever seen bring such a smile to Savena’s face. It all started with those glasses she found in Oured, our day of horror in the capital only made bearable for her when she saw those sitting in a shop window. That day was awful, three hours on a train to spend an entire day being questioned like a criminal, just so that some beaurocrat could determine that her only crime was having been born in Serbia. Savena had only just found her voice and settled into a life with me when we both had to endure a day under medical examination of her being prodded, poked, swabbed and sampled, just to determine exactly where she was from. To keep my promises to her, I subjected myself to the same treatment and went first so that she knew I would endure everything she did and more to stop them taking her from me. A few of the doctors sure gave me strange looks when I sat down for their tests, disbelieving that I was going to suffer the same to keep her in my home. They were never going to take her from me, no matter what they tried I was going to make them concede defeat and let Savena become my legal daughter. That day in Oured would finally force the schools into allowing her entry and let us both start to rebuild some kind of normal life beyond the horrors that girl had barely escaped. After all those tests and inquisitions on the walk back to the train, she stopped almost dead in her tracks, her eyes locked onto something and her entire being moving round and backwards in a circle to look deeper. I had never seen such a quizzical yet innocent look upon her face, lost for a moment and stranded in her own world of wonder. Gently smiling obliviously with the beautifully lost air of a forgotten childhood. Curious as to what had captured her heart and mind I stepped beside her and couldn’t work out just what she had seen in that window but instead I just encouraged her to go inside and look deeper still. Rather than walking round the shop, she headed straight to the manakin and just stood gazing into the lenses of those goggles. Her face was so beautiful, she was utterly enchanted, lost in her own blissful little world. I had never seen such a sweet smile across her face until that moment. Keen to encourage her to be adventurous I whispered to her “You could always try them on?” Savena’s head flicked round with such an innocent look as I took them from the manakin and handed them to her. She almost bowed her head like a princess ready to receive her crown and whether she knew it or not, those goggles were coming home with us. How could I forget her face as those goggles rested upon her head, she was so happy, after such an awful day, I was relieved just to see any hint of hope glistening in such soft eyes. Savena adjusted them to fit her hair and walked around staring at herself, she was just enchanted. With a single glance at me, the deal was done and no matter the cost, she was taking those goggles home. Most kids probably would have had to plead and beg, but not Savena, just seeing that sweet smile and glowing eyes was payment enough for me. That trader saw us coming though, the price was terrifying but after such a bad day, I really didn’t care. Savena spent the entire train journey home lost in her new world, smiling at her own reflection in the window. Like any parent I wanted to encourage her and while I watched her lost in this new strange trance and and wondered if this would just be a passing trend. I couldn’t stop myself thinking if in just a few weeks time those goggles would find an eternal home on a forgotten shelf in her bedroom. But as it would turn out, so little did I know, that on that most awful of days, I had just watched my daughter find a new world unique to her and all of her own. Everyday she wore those goggles, morning, noon and night, only taking them off when she went for a bath or went to sleep. Sometimes it felt like those things were attached to her scalp just like her red hair. Much to my surprise though Savena never let those goggles dull and nor did that enchanted smile that I loved to see so much. Over the next few weeks I watched her clean and polish those goggles religiously, with little cloths and cotton swabs, she was so fastidious and meticulous in every way. Eventually she had that brass so polished and the leather so buffed, that it was almost like they were better than new, I felt a strange pride in seeing her love for something run so deep. Savena’s new found passion was utterly infectious and I would do anything to keep that flame burning brightly and fortunately a few weeks later, Ljianstipol would provide me with just the fuel I needed. Every year the town hosts a large Steampunk bizarre, people travel near and far to visit the huge celebration of brass, leather, glamorous outfits and curious trinkets. I did have a few worries about taking her along, after all, I wasn’t sure quite how so many people that on any normal day we would probably avoid, would react to a quite enchanted but slightly enthusiastic twelve year old girl. We spent every minute of those three days walking around, Savena lost in this strange realm proudly donning those goggles on her head. Traders and bypassers in attendance all treated her the same way, taking time to talk with her and unveiling this strange new world she had fallen so deeply in love with. Each different person revealed different thoughts and ideas to her, how to start, where to begin and to take her time, especially as she was starting to grow. I only truly remember the glow filling her eyes as they offered advice to her. While that weekend would soon pass, the courtesy and kindness fully fueled a new kind of magic deep within Savena and I couldn’t have been happier or more thankful to have seen either come to pass. Savena dedicated herself to this new found love, every penny she earned from babysitting Lenola or helping Tony and doing things around the house all harvested with a purpose only she knew. Over the past year she kept tucking away everything she earned to slowly build up a look that she kept entirely hidden. Well Evelyn had some role to play in it, but despite being my best friend, she kept Savena’s secret from me too. I guess just like Savena, Evelyn wanted my first viewing of this new side of my daughter to be a true surprise with no forewarning or sneak peeks. This year of course is different too, Savena is thirteen now, yet still quite sweet, but she is growing into a beautiful young woman now and I know the last few weeks have been tough for her too. Savena masks it well, but I know that the fallout with Yui has upset her more than she lets on, she will eventually tell me, but in her own time, even if I really don’t like that being the way. Yui after all was Savena’s first real friend in Ljainstipol and in truth I thought Yui would have been better than she has, but I guess sometimes, the best of us can be wrong. While Yui and her shunning of Savena surprised me, Paisley utterly astounded me. Never did I expect her to step up and fill the void left by Yui, but she soon more than filled that gap and well, deep down she is a good friend to Savena. Secretly she has been talking to me to surprise Savena by coming along for the weekend with us, I guess those two have more in common than I thought? Either way it’s good to see someone who truly has Savena’s back and maybe she has found her own best friend in Paisley, just as I did with Evelyn? While I waited for her in the kitchen and thought about this weekend together, I heard the first shy footsteps as she started to descend from above but she quietly asked “Can you close your eyes mum?” I could hear nerves in her voice and I knew how big this moment could be and who was I to refuse the humble request of my daughter? I closed my eyes and chirped back “Sure, they’re closed” I heard her steps start up again, nervous pensive steps, I could feel her apprehension as she drew closer but I kept my eyes closed and held my own nerves. I didn’t like feeling her being so nervous, especially when it was about something she loved so very deeply. Her breaths were shorter than normal as she came to rest and whispered “Mum?” as she took a gentle deep breath and uttered through quivering lips “You can look now” Little did she know that she had no need to be so nervous. I opened my eyes with a mindful breath and the first sight I caught was her trembling knees bumping into each other, her feet adorned with cute little boots. I couldn’t believe she was so nervous as I looked up and saw my beautiful little girl adorned in such a sweet lacy dress with a glorious corset covered in intricate patterns and brass and those cherished goggles topping her head. Astounded to the point where I could barely speak as I realised just how quickly she had grown into such a majestic young woman, I collapsed back, gasping as I took it all in. She put her hands behind her back, trying to hide the apprehension she felt but as I composed myself and started to well up, soon enough I wouldn’t need to think what to say. “Savena, look at you” I gazed up into her eyes “What happened to that scruffy little girl I brought home?” I could see her eyes flitting as my words teased her ears. I reached and held the side of her corset “Is she still in there?” she gazed down at me gently smiling with that same beautiful smile and those glowing eyes I had first seen just over a year ago “You look so beautiful Savena” my voice became so soft as I absorbed all that I was truly seeing and gently gazed into those eyes as I took a moment and as she started relaxing I contently sighed “I’m so proud watching you grow Savena” I thought back to the little girl who had first come to the Davizioso, just over eighteen months ago and my thoughts slipped out “If only they could see just how wonderful you have become Savena” I began welling up “Not that they would get the chance” she glanced down at me curiously as I gently exhaled “You are my daughter now” her cheeks bulged a little as she smiled back at me with a tear falling down “Mala Lisica?” I hugged her tightly and held on with such pride as I realised how quickly time had passed and whispered back “Mala Lisica”