Last night, Barb (bakapo) posted a takeoff on one of my silly challenges, and she actually took me up on it (!!!) and made another beautiful image! (History: A few days earlier, she posted an image based on someone's challenge to "do something with the number 17". So I, in my usual tastelessness, said "how about doing an image based on 2,982,436? I never thought she'd do it! (The link is below.) So you know: Her "17" image was "17 Zen Stones"---evoking the ancient institution of the Zen Garden...so I used a Buddhist theme here, as Zen is a branch of Buddhism. Also, my opening is adapted from an actual Indian scripture. The name is below. (And the 'goddess" in my tale is the woman in Barb's "2,982.436" image.) This piece is off-the-wall! But I hope you like it. Just a short jitterbug with the cosmos, from Barb's beautiful images... I didn't comment yesterday as my arm hurt. It's better now---I'll finish commenting the next days. Stay well and healthy, everyone! mark * * * I'VE BEEN TOLD... A great sage went to the foot of a mountain, and said: "In this rock, I see the universe...and in that universe, I see countless other universes, with countless galaxies and stars and planets. And in those universes, I see more universes, with more galaxies and stars---all through this one rock on this one mountain in this one day...And if you look in this rock, you'll see everything, because everything is in it...everything... "If you're kind to it," continued the sage: "It will tell you the history of all things..." When the sage left, the woman who'd been listening---the goddess from Barbara's image---walked to that rock and sat. And, seeing that she was earnest---it told her everything. How long did it take? 2,982,436 eons, as the rock had much to share... * * * Excuse me: Where did you learn that story? "An ancient scripture," said the goddess. Which scripture? "The Yogavasishta Mahramayana." What's in that scripture? "Visions," said the goddess. Can you tell me some? "I'll do you one better," said the goddess: "Hold this Rock---" (Held.) "Now meditate on it." How long? "2,982,436 eons." Omg--- I took her up on it. (I wasn't accustomed to sitting that long, but having nothing pressing in the next several billion years, I meditated for 2,982,436 eons---which was longer than you can believe. Here's the skinny: While I meditated, the Universe was formed, the Galaxies were formed, the Planets were formed, the Earth was formed, and all Life was formed---minus maybe a few insects. It was so long, is my point, that, in eon 1446 alone, the Grand Canyon was formed. ((That's long.)) And I saw the visions! In fact, I sat another 2,982,436 eons just to watch them. They were unbelievable.) When I finished, the goddess was scooping blue from the sky and rubbing it on her face (as it makes a fine skin cream). I thanked her and went on my way... * * * Now. Some of you will ask: Can I meet this goddess first-hand? Sure: She's here. Thank you, but how do we get to her by foot? We'd like to walk... Oh...that's complicated....... (Rustle, rustle...) (I continued:) Ok: According to my map, you step on this link (pointing:) This one here: You'll pass a ton of Poser ads---just ignore them. Then take this link: It'll take you to a website for Jumper Cables: Ignore them too---they're just a shortcut. Then take this link--- (You took the map.) Good. Just follow it. You'll get there by sundown... (Later, from Barbara's gallery:) I'm here! Can I jump into her image? And, will Barb mind if I talk to her character? Whoooo...that's a rough one. I don't think so, ok? But if you wanna pop in her image, you'll need the keys...(rustling:) Here...take them...take them... Whoa! How many keys are there??? 2,982,436. (Author's note: Yes, you need keys. More importantly, some people never come back from these journeys: I went there months ago, and, after taking a wrong turn, wound up in a site for "Plugins for Geological Eras". (That is, plugins for your Mesozoic or Palaeozoic Eras, etc: Once installed, the plugins plant prehistoric ferns in your living rooms, along with assorted dinosaurs, ginormous volcanoes, woolly mammoths and stuff like that. They eat up a lotta RAM, but they're unbelievable...) How long does the journey take? 2,982,436 days. * * * The Zen Wall And it came to pass...that Barbara's goddess took the rocks from the mountainside, and told them to form a Zen wall. Now the rocks were busy streaming the films of Steven Spielberg, plus episodes 3 through 14 of The Honeymooners...but they eventually formed a wall, and it was very Buddhist (as Zen is a school of Buddhism); and the goddess was very happy. When you visit---assuming you're nice---Barb's goddess will tell you the history of 1) all 4 legged creatures, 2) the complete history of igneous rocks (this is unbelievable), and 3) all the Pre-Columbian tales of the Comice Pear: Recent discoveries indicate that there was a whole cult of Comice Pear goddesses...if you don't know, Comice Pears are the pears that are so juicy they gush all over you and onto the floor, and they're like butter, and, really, they're orgasmic---which was a huge deal to ancient fertility rites. (This is a lie, but it fits the tale, so stay with me...) Not only will the goddess tell you how the pears were formed, she'll include interviews w/ their RNA and DNA (and their lawyers); and she'll tell you several hundred pear jokes---which are actually pretty funny. And if you eat one of those pears, they contain the History of Fruit Since the Beginning of Time. A fruitful visit, if you'll excuse the pun. These are some of the things that await you when you visit the goddess and her wall... (Look for the lizard, btw...it's just off to the left...I know him...he loves Mozart and quiet walks on the beach...) * * * Finally... One day, Buddha herself walked into Barb's gallery, and Barb's goddess knew the Buddha as they'd been friends back in Bu's pre-enlightenment days. (Ie, grade school). Predictably, Buddha said her journey was "wayyyyy tiring," as she passed 3 Black Holes along the way, 14 Galaxies, and an "unusually large chunk of Nothingness". And, as Buddha was exhausted---and hungry---the goddess served-up Buddha's favorite meal: A casserole containing 2 parts Deep Space, with 2 lightly braised Protons, a sprig of Inner Stillness, a few Radioactive Isotopes ("that's where the flavor is," said the goddess), and a dessert of Candied Being sprinkled with a dash of Primordial Ooze. They talked into the night (which lasted 2,982,436 eons), and then Buddha asked: "Who came up with the whole '2,982,436' thing?" "Oh, it was a joke," said the goddess: "See, Barb did an image based on the number 17, so this anahata guy suggested 'why not do an image on the number 2,982,436?' (He comes up with that stuff, don't ask why...) And she did it! "Beautiful image," said Bu. "Yes, it is," said the goddess. And they sat under the moon and told stories until the next millennium, at which Buddha flew back to India, wearing a mask, and stopping once or twice to transcend space and time. (Normally that would give you nosebleeds, but she was fine.) She landed the next morning... * * * One last thing: I studied with the Buddha for a week, last year. I tried to "annihilate the universe in my mind": But I wound up annihilating 2 neighbors, a small clamp wrench, and a 1988 Buick. I asked Buddha if I could "bring them back": She said, "Yes, but be more careful next time..." After that, I annihilated some guy's watch. It takes time, is all I'm saying......... That's my "2,982,436" tale. I hope you enjoyed! (thanks again, Barb!) The End ------------------