My True Christmas Memorie As a mother grieving the loss of a child, the road ahead stretches long and difficult. Not having had the opportunity to complete your child's life to adulthood breaks a mother's heart over and over again. You wonder every day what she is doing. Is she okay? You pray that she is happy. My first Christmas without my daughter, Ginger, was a painful struggle. I just couldn't find the strength to decorate a tree with all the beautiful ornaments Ginger and my youngest daughter, Sara, had made over the years. Instead, I decorated my mother and Dads's tree and I shared Christmas with them. It helped Sara and I survive the first year. The next year, I summoned the courage to put up the Christmas tree with lights of blue, ( Her fav color ) but once again Ginger and Sara's precious ornaments remained packed away. That's as far as I got, but it was a major step. Ginger had loved Christmas, and for the thirteen years of her life she had always helped put up the tree. In fact, since Sara had been ,the youngest she'd taken charge of the decorating. She always assembled the nativity scene under the Christmas tree, a job she especially enjoyed. My father had made the manger out of barnboards from my grandfather's barn, and I had painted the figures with my Children So it had a very special meaning to my family. By our third Christmas I felt stronger. I needed a connection to the Christmas times past when Ginger had been alive. This time I put up the tree and lovingly decorated it with the children ornaments. Then I went to get the box containing the nativity manger and ceramic figures, which had not been touched for three years. As I looked inside the barnboard manager, I discovered a tiny little Christmas card. The front of the card showed a picture of a little girl carrying lots of Christmas cards to be delivered. I opened the card and read the inside verse: If I could just pick up and leave I'd start this minute, I believe To be with you on Christmas Eve. At that moment, I knew I'd make it--not only through the holidays, but also through the long journey ahead of me without Ginger. I never found out how the card got into the manger, but I viewed its presence there as a gift from my Daughter. In my heart, I knew the tiny card with its message of wanting to be together for Christmas Eve was my much-needed connection to Ginger. It would see me through that third Christmas, and ever after and Sara and I would make it Forever an a Day,With All the Christmas meanings Ginger had really left with us. This my True Christmas memorie. Dec,10,2011 475 words exactly.