This space for rent...

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This space for rent...
This space for rent...

Cheap. ;]

"I'm rendering cheesecake.
And scanning the front page...
All of those forums just flaming away...
And I'm thumbing my keyboard,
Just nursing some downloads...
And if I'm not in the Hot20 there'll be hell to pay.

And I'm
Wasting away again at Renderosity...
Searchin for my lost trains of thought
Some people claim theres a Vicki to blame.
But I know
It's all Michael's damn fault. ;]

Well there may be a reason
I've kicked back all season
With nuthin to show but a render in Vue,
But it's a real doozie
Of a millenium floozy
With the sales from the store I can afford me a clue.

Just a
Wasting away again in Renderosity
Searching for all the freestuff I need.
And some people claim there's a posette to blame...
But now I think
It just might be Vicki's fault.

Well it's all there for the taking
I'm an AOM in the making
If I could just figure out how to paint hair and shoes...
Well I'm a big spender
And with these purchases will render
That winning creation that'll ensure I can't lose.

Til then I'm
Wasting away again at Renderosity
Until the postman brings me my T-Shirt and hat..
Some people claim that there's nobody to blame,
But I'm not fooled -
It's all FastTraxx's fault. ;]
Yes and some people claim that there's a Vicki to blame,
But I know
It's all CuriousLab's fault. "

Apropos of absolutely nothing whatsoever...

What... you expected mebbe something profound? From THIS column? Get real. *snicker*

Just happened to be listening to Jimmy Buffet while typing, and well... you just saw what that does to you. Let's just hope I'm not in a Black Sabbath or Alice Cooper mood next week. ;]
We might wind up with "Forums wear boots" up here.

Nuthin personal, Ken... it jest happend to scan better that way. ;]

You'll have to forgive the brief excursion into absurdity here. Or not, as you please...
I think on occassion, we tend to take this whole online community and experience thing just a we bit too seriously. Some of us anyway. Not me... I seldom take much seriously, including my self.

Heh heh. Someone who continually argues possession of his computer with a pair of cats had best have a sense of absurdity. ;]

Maybe comes from having a lot of my earlier online experiences shaped by trolling old bbs's and news groups with people like Kibo. I was indoctrinated early into the wierd side of the web. Things just got worse over the years as I found myself wandering various gaming sites and other places with people who were just as warped in the humour dept as I am.
I guess that's why these days, it's just tough for me to treat earth shattering problems like advertising in the poser gallery, and other suchlike. You get used to viewing things with a certain skewed perspective...

Gives me a real hard time dealing with the type of mentality that takes everything and everyone with deathly seriousness and gravity. And makes it hard for me to treat those subjects with all the gravity and seriousness they truly deserve...

Or, some might make a case that I do. ;]

Oh well. Be that as it may... just remember the next time the big site crisis of the week comes up [whatever it is]:
Somewhere's out in the forums, there's someone like me.

Lurking in the darkness with a rubber chicken and a raspberry. *snicker*

Until then... Sherman Barnes [Ironbear at Renderosity]
Ironbear's Featured Column (click here)
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Member Opinions:
By: lalverson on 11/9/01
Excellent piece, but now you got me singing it!

By: dragonmagic59 on 11/9/01
I think you ought to submit that to Buffet and see if he will re-record the song. Very creative Bear! It's so nice to know that the world is balanced. You got your serious ones and then those of us who just can't seem to get serious down. I prefer to look skewed, takes the dark edges ofn things. And sanity is WAY overrated! Just ask your two cats. They might even lower themselves to answer. LOL

By: Sacred Rose on 11/9/01
LOL It *IS* Vickie's fault...she is evil I tell ya, positively Evil!! Just ask posette.....she was last seen running down the steps heading towards the dungeons of Rosity.... She had a mean look on her face, and I didnt really take much notice of the 12" knife with the carved handle that was inlaid with mother of pearl and had onyx encrusted covers for the hand turned holding screws. Just because she had sent vickie there 5 minutes earlier doesnt mean that she intended to do her any harm. Come to think of it...neither did the heart stopping shriek I heard a few minutes after posette went down those same steps, give me any cause for alarm. I thought they were giving each other AOM pointers *snicker* Excellent column Sherm!!

By: Styxx on 11/9/01
Sherm, I've said it a hundred time.. and probably will say it a hundred, hundred more... You are one strange puppy!

By: Allen9 on 11/9/01
Thank god for strange puppies. Without them I'd REALLY feel alone on this bizarre planet.

Sherm, the rubber chicken I can understand, but raspberry? Everybody knows it's huckleberries that are supposed to go with rubber chicken. BTW, what wine would you recommend to go with the rubber chickn?

Seriously (from ME????) though, I always enjoy your posts and screwy humor. Whatever you do, don't stop it.

By: Ironbear on 11/9/01
Er.... Allen. "Raspberry" = "Bronx Cheer". ;]

What, now I have to write "The Extra-Terrestrial's Guide to Earth Slang"?

By: nikitacreed on 11/10/01
<---This is me rolling my eyes in a serious and grave way at you Ironbear. For could you possibly make light at a time like this?!? Are you blind? Have you no feelings?!? Are you so cold-hearted?!? Can't you see....

I'm having a bad hair day? ;o)

By: aprilgem on 11/10/01
Great. The song's stuck in my head now, and I can't get the image of Vicki eating fruitcake and margaritas out of my head.

By: GolemSage on 11/10/01
It's always a pleasure to read the thoughts of a fellow twisted Artist from the BBS (Fidoy Net) History. As always an amusing pleasure Bear

By: SndCastie on 11/11/01
Great column Bear at least I know now there are people out here that are just as warped if not more warped in the mind then me :P Now if I could just get that song out of my head I might be able to do some work :O)

By: Jackie on 11/11/01
Brilliant as usual my friend....don't forget this..(tosses Bear a whoopie cushion)

By: Thorne on 11/12/01
Geez Bear, am I gonna have to come back over here and start some new idiotic controversy amongst the newbies just so you'll have something to DO? Your mind is a terrible thing to waste, ya know, and if your really that bored and listening to Buffett, well then, "God's Own Drunk" will tell ya, "Why don't we get drunk and....."


By: Varian on 11/12/01
All those silly topics to get upset're so right, they're not really worth the energy when viewed from the larger picture. Er, that is until *I* have something to gripe about. And then, you better believe it's the most urgent and important crisis and you darn well better treat it with the serious reflection it deserves! 0:)

By: wgreenlee1 on 11/13/01
"Ooh-ooh!" (raises hand as IronBear turns his head in discust)
"I have question for Mister Bear,

Who is Jimmy Buffet Mister Bear?"

By: Ecstasy on 11/14/01
OMG thats right on the nail!Shouldve posted this in the

By: nfredman on 11/14/01
Most excellent! Break out the Sauza Hornitos and toast Mr. IronBear! Thank you for the tune.

By: Rebecca Lee on 11/14/01
Oh, man. . . Now you're starving me. =)

By: Wizzard on 11/16/01
heh heh heh heh,... nice one Bear...
took a few lines afore the song started...
then it flowed in a most lovely manner 8 )
Oh.. Smoke demanded that you upgrade teh thunderstick.. says that Halflife's getting a bit tough...
CHeers mate

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