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And I Do....Understand

heartnsoul
Member Since May 19, 2005
199 Images, Last upload Jun 10, 2014

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I woke today to find myself on an unusual fence
Looking down I see both sides
If this were a wall it would be easier to walk
There would be room for us all
To gleefully walk hand in hand

On one side is a love so pure, so deep, so passionate that you realize
Until this moment, you have never truly loved
Every thing you did from your humble beginnings to this moment
Was little more than going through the motions
An all encompassing love that makes you want to be a better person
A love that deep within your heart you know, you are a better person for it
Yet this love is not without pain, the pain of knowing
You are not loved with the same capacity with which you love

On the other side is a love that is warm and deeply caring
A love that has let you find a way into their heart
And made a place there forever.
It brings comfort, contentment, a confidence
That lets you begin to love again
It also brings pain, because this love
Cannot be returned in the capacity with which it is received.
It squeezes your heart whenever you look into the eyes of this lover
So much so that you stop looking into them
Afraid they will glimpse that reflection in your soul
Guilt saddles this pain because you know, they have
Yet the capacity of that love is given with equal fervency and equally profound

As I walk this fence I reach down and take the hands offered me in spite of this
For love should not have boundaries, thus boundaries should not be placed upon it
With each footstep, it widens to become a wall
Hand in hand we seemingly walk in sync
Suddenly the natural flow of love hiccups
Dazed and confused Humpty Dumpty comes to mind
I wonder if he fell because he felt he had to make choices.
Making mine, I offer the choice to love and be loved in return
in whatever capacity that love is.
Love should not be spurned, for if we do we miss life's most precious gift

As we journey along the movement of love changes
I begin to see what I refused to see, what is, what was meant to be
I begin to feel what I refused to feel, the distance, my own missteps
Sea air assaults my nostrils, salt clinging to my skin like honey I forge ahead
A familiar sense of foreboding permeates my being
The air fills with a long forgotten song
Beckoning me as it crashes against the sands of time

"I am but your vessel
As we traverse through time
One that just rekindles love
While never knowing mine
I am the keeper of broken hearts
Harbor for wounded souls
Careening barnacles from your spirit
The balm that heals the holes"

The wall disappears into a dank darkness
Our heartbeats obliterated by the creaking metronome crashing against the waves
The cold wet steel of nautical chains wrap around me choking the beat of my heart
Barnacles tearing at my soul peeling away layer after layer of my being
My desperate pleas echo into nothingness
Hands grip my hands anchoring me as I slip into an undertow of darkness
Two hearts left beating are finding a rhythm of their own as mine slowly ebbs

"First I had to die:
Let down my defenses
one by one in surrender,
to that which holds me.
Gives way to that which protects me.
Each tear brings withering pain.
Bittersweet decay lingers,
as I'm drawn to the womb from which I came.
Only then could I see
Even in death there is beauty
And only then, could I know
Rebirth:
Fervently suckling nature's breast,
limbs take root to do the rest.
In morning's mist dawn is waking,
through the earth I am breaking.
Stretching, reaching, breaking free,
of the world confining me."

Thrashing slows to a gentle rocking
Lulled in loving arms I am delivered onto the soft down of earth
My hands are filled by a love that has never left my side

Bathing in the warm glow of love
I took the hand on one side, placed it lovingly to my cheek
Looking into the eyes of this love
I gently removed guilt's saddle
Watching our pain of knowing
As it dissipated into the atmosphere
With this letting go came a new love
Equally fervent, equally profound
Now equal in its capacity of giving and receiving

Holding the other hand to my lips
With all the tenderness and love my heart could hold
I looked into the eyes of this love
Letting that love reflect into theirs
Feeling it quicken as it found a beat all its own

Dawn broke the horizon bringing
The adventure of a new future, a new day, a new love
There before us were greener pastures
Without walls, without fences
Love without boundaries

A new sound pulses from within me
Simultaneously my heart beats in perfect rhythm
To the hands holding mine
Yet, my heart beats alone
For the first time I can hear the beat
Of my own drum










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August 25, 2008
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Image Comments


Aug 25, 2008 2:53:08 pm
http://knol. google.com/ k/james-oneill/ polyamory/ 3czmgkncteg8o/ 2#

I ask so that you may better understand my work and my reference to Humpty Dumpty (having to choose between two loves) to check out the link I've provided.

I entered a contest recently for poems (any style) about love. One of the options was to write a poem on various lovers. I chose to write about Loving more....a variation on various lovers that is called Polyamory. Through conversation with friends last year I learned of this lifestyle. So that I might better understand their perspective I learned much about it. I am not one to judge anyone for anyway one chooses to live. Lest I be judged. So I took the opportunity to write about a controversial subject (would any of you expect less of me :)?) to hopefully enlighten others. So that you understand, I am not saying here this is my lifestyle, only an enlightenment.
For those of you that are familiar with my work; you will probably notice that excerpts from two of my poems were used, "Love's Vessel" and "Growing Pains". I thought both very appropriate here. I do hope you enjoy... I do hope you walk away not only enlightened but with the knowledge that life holds for us many choices. This is but one of many. My poem garnered an Honorable Mention and a new friend in the process.
Much love, light and wisdom to you all
~Michelle~

by heartnsoul Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 3:52:42 pm
Because of its fluid nature, polyamory is sometimes loosely defined. Nevertheless, people who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are always necessary for long-term loving relationships. Those who are open to, or emotionally suited for a polyamorous lifestyle, may at times be single, or in monogamous relationships, but are more typically involved in multiple long term relationships. Polyamorous relationships, in practice, are highly varied and individualized. Ideally they are built upon values of trust, loyalty, negotiation, and compersion, as well as rejection of jealousy, possessiveness, and restrictive cultural standards. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships commonly consist of groups of more than two people seeking to build a long-term future together on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationship. There are many kids with single parents. If gays are allowed to marry, then at least the child has two parents. If one earns the bread then the other can be a care giver or supervisor. Even if they are the same sex. But if two are better than one then isn't three better than two? Three Fathers or three Mothers or all other combinations? Communal living can work, but only when the participants give up insecurity, selfishness and care more about others than they do about themselves. It would be nice when society stops setting restrictions on our hearts on a global scale. Stops equating jealousy with love. That realize that their moral authority comes from a God that knocked up a married woman. Anyway, I'll get off my box now.. Excellent Poem Michelle. Very deep and insightful. Best wishes and hugs from Dave :^)

by davidoblad Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 5:13:44 pm
wonderful words and story

by jocko500 Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 5:57:42 pm
Superb topic & writing!

by DennisReed Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 6:23:13 pm
Breathtaking writing, just pulls you in and in the end wanting more!!!!:):):)

by hotracer2 Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 8:33:03 pm
This is unusual, interesting and unique Michelle. Wonderfully written. Huggs... Silkylady...

by Silkylady Homepage »

Aug 25, 2008 8:43:53 pm
Wow. Beautifully written, thoughtfully presented. Excellent work.

by auntietk Homepage »

Aug 26, 2008 1:21:10 am
Wow, takes my breath away--beautiful!!

by beachzz Homepage »

Aug 29, 2008 1:54:20 pm
All I can say is this is truly a brilliantly written work Michelle and so well thought out. Thank you so much for sharing. Life does indeed hold many choices for us and I can see why your poem got so much attention as it is superb.

by magnus073 Homepage »

Aug 29, 2008 2:17:32 pm
I agree with magnus073
we all have choices and that's what is so wonderful about life
we make them an d live them and if they are not what we thought they would be
we move out andon to another step in life
how lucky are we that can do that ??very lucky:
great poem and thoughts and words:hugs ))

by evielouise Homepage »

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