Trash Me In The Morning, Then Just Drive Away.. by RodS
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No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
OK - this isn't really art. But then, maybe it could be - I dunno. What do you think, Bill? Think maybe this could find a place in the Nelson-Atkins Neo Modernistic Collection? Maybe on the wall next to that canvas/burlap saxophone thingy?
Actually, this is my minivan - or what's left of it. This is how my morning started out. Here's the setting. I'm driving south on Metcalf Ave. approaching the I-435 intersection. For those not familiar with the Kansas City Metro area, this is a very busy intersection. At this point, Metcalf Ave. has 4 lanes. One on the far right, leading to an entrance ramp for I-435 west. Next is the through right lane, the one I was in. Next is the center lane. Finally a far left lane to go east on I-435.
So, traffic is moving along about 35 MPH. In the lane to my left, and slightly ahead of me is Dudley Dumbass. Dudley Dumbass makes a snap decision that he really wants to be in the far right lane (to my right) so he can get on I-435 westbound. He then acts on that snap decision with a precision maneuver - whipping suddenly to his right with no signal, and without pulling his head out of his - uh - you know, long enough to see if his trajectory was clear of objects. It wasn't. There was something in his way. Me.
Fortunately, for both of us, my Jedi reflexes kicked in, and I was able to swerve enough to minimize the impact. Fortunately for him, I was unable to summon up the Force Lightning and light both him and his car on fire. So I just let the police handle it.
But on to the art aspect of this. I mean this 'artist' worked so hard on this creation, it would be a shame not to admire it just a little bit. Note the delightful curves and swirls of twisted metal - and the delightful little curl of metal adds just a subtle touch of humor. The hint of dark blue of the hole in the wiper fluid reservoir contrasts nicely with the intense orange of the shattered turn signal light - and what a delightful color vibration it sets up, don't you think? Then there are the wonderful textures of the wheel, now unencumbered by an annoying hubcap. And let's not forget the interesting patterns formed by the lines of folded metal, and those delightful, lightning-like cracks in the headlight cavity.
Yes, just delightful! I'm so pleased with this new artwork, I'm considering sending my TNA girls to visit this moron - oops, I mean artist - with a couple of ChuckNepo's guns.
Hope everyone has a great weekend, and stay safe! Believe it or not, there are idiots on the loose out there! Hope to have the next TNA page up this weekend.
Comments (27)
Yeah, that not being able to summon Force Lightning can suck sometimes.
Oh yes, I agree with you, Rod, about the last 2 sentences. So sorry to learn that this is what happened to you this morning. But the way it sounds like you handled it the way you should. Chuck will be happy to send you some of his well-designed guns since you mentioned it. Nice and emphatic description of how a crash can look like a work of art (chuckle).
got lots of them on the roads in colorado rod, bummer drag. thanks for sharing the story and pic my friend.. steve
Lamento por seu acidente, narrativa brilhante, obrigado por compartilhar, aplausos (5)
They are every where! They hide behind facades of chrome and plastic. They look like normal people, your sainted granmother, your sister, your aunt, your mom. When you least expect it, are lulled by normalcy, Bam! They strike again!! They are called "the other driver". Sorry to hear and see. But thanks to your Jedi power at least no one was hurt!
Sure, this IS art Rod! JUNK ART, LOL! Sorry for that. Couldn't resist. But seriously, I'm glad you're OK. THINGS can be replaced but good people can not.
Sorry for your unfortunate art, Rod! At least you are too the point where you can get a little humorous release....and no one was hurt....other than your poor minivan! You are right....you always have to look out for the ones who don't look out! I think you got it right though....its a job for the TNA girls!!!
Of course this is art--just frame it, put it in a gallery and they will come!! Sorry bout the car, but the guy's "carma" (sorry, sometimes I just can't help myself!!) will catch up with him!!
and teh real problem with stupid people is that they breed more stupid people. wonderful'art' Rod. It should have happened to him and not you, only more extensively and expensively.... I'm glad you're okay!
Know the intersection well! I seem to always hit it in the P.M. though! Bet he was yakking on the phone when he pulled this stunt! Don't drive 'defensively', Drive assertively!!!
Ouch that must have hurt..lol Your lighting speed reflexes obviously saved to much more damage being done, what was his vehicle like.. I think you could call it clot art and sell it to your insurance company that can sell it on to his insurance company lol. Glad you were ok. Take care there on those streets Rod..
From someone who had a fabulous old truck TOTALED 3 times in 3 years while never being behind the wheel when it happened, I can relate. Twice parked in front of my house and once while parked in a parking lot, I had my truck totaled. The last time, the frame got bent and I gave up...sold it and broke the curse. :-)
Ugh! Try the SPCA. I understand they neuter them now so they can't breed anymore. :)
Oh no im so glad your not hurt thanks for sharing your storry hugs lou x
Jedi reflexes huh??how do you expect me to know the kansas city metropolitan area huh,never even been to the US of A man lol. and remember :always carry a chucknepo because there are millions of dumbasses out there. another little hint: get yourself the carmageddon race game and you will fine useful hints ho to wage havoc on the streets.and turn on blood-gore mode.hehehe here in luxmbourg all is ok -we are sharing one laptop ute and me ,so i do the comments ,mostly for the both of us.
We can hang it on the wall next to that metal sculpture you didn't like at the Nelson! LOL! I think I have a picture of that, btw. :P Sorry to hear about your bad morning. I'm sure Dudley's insurance company will be able to fix it up as good as new!
(> <)
Maybe Pop Art Rod. Take a ball pean hammer and see if you can pop it out. LOL Where do some of these people get their licenses? Think the TNA girls should dispose of this guy quickly...before he runs into others just like you:) Did you warn him to stay off the streets for awhile? Your words make for one great read!!!
I honestly believe some of these idiots actually get their license from a cracker jack box! They are every where! Glad you are okay and I agree, sounds like a job for the TNA girls!
EEEEK! Oh no! I am always telling my kids to watch out for the other guy driving, cuz you NEVER know what they are going to do...looks like you had this situation and OUCH! Sorry Rod...more paper work and waiting to get this stuff fixed is what gets me. Hopefully it did not hit hard enough to mess up your front end and its safe to drive after the fix....as for it being art...well that is one positive way to look at it. lol I personally like the cracks in the lights....lol
I'm sorry to hear about the accident. Atleast you didn't get hurt!
LOL! Sorry but now I've got a certain song brought on by the title running through my head! Haven't heard that song in years! But oh my...on your picture, did you just earn a language tag? Well, at least you are fortunate that you live in a state that requires people to have insurance. Here in NH, you don't have to have insurance...UNTIL you have an accident and THEN you have to have it. Go figure!
Oh Myyy...Thats terrible! :)
ROFLMAO!!! Sorry buddy, I hate to get a laugh at your expense but that description is priceless. I'm glad those Jedi powers saved your butt from triple D "Darth Dudley Dumbass". Maybe once the insurance pays off you could park this piece of art in the artists front yard, or better yet living room.
This is indeed terrible my friend, but i am glad that you are oke.
Ooouch! Most likely Duddly was talking on a hand held cell phone at the time and suddenly realized while he had been yacking that he was passing by his intersection.
Il transportait quoi, Dudley Dumbass ? Un requin ? Une reine alien ? Une termitière radioactive ? Un misile sol-sol ? On croirait que le métal a été croqué.