Back in time by dochtersions
Close
Hover over top left image to zoom.
Click anywhere to exit.
Members remain the original copyright holder in all their materials here at Renderosity. Use of any of their material inconsistent with the terms and conditions set forth is prohibited and is considered an infringement of the copyrights of the respective holders unless specially stated otherwise.
No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
Back in time
Today, when I was almost awake, something special happened; I was back in time, when I was a very little girl.
And there was someone who asked me about my memories, about what I felt at that time; and after I really woke up, I cried intensely, I miss that little girl so much.
It was so special, she didn’t feel at home on earth, didn’t know what was expected of her here, so she listened very well and was very obedient to learn how to behave on earth.
There was no one who understood how I really was, my true, real feelings, I couldn’t share them with anyone, everyone was completely different.
So I did everything to be found good enough, but still, the world, the people, I couldn’t identify with them;
I was completely different, as if I didn’t belong here.
I was so afraid and lonely inside, but on the outside, I always smiled to hide my feelings from those who wouldn’t understand.
And I couldn’t stop crying about that little girl that I still miss so very hard.
Mieke ( the therapist I ones had) ones said to me that they have killed that little girl, and so my dear husband says.
.
And, ‘yes’, I once had a dream that I was arrived in heaven again.
But, ‘man’ what I’m a sorrow that I was sent back ‘down’.
Back to this earth, which is currently like hell for me.
This is because of the terrible pains,
which were created by a multiple youth trauma and complex PTSD, plus FNS.
.
Well, meanwhile I’m a fractal artist, writer, painter and photographer.
So, something good must have came out of all the suffering, right?
.
In Dutch:
“Hoop doet leven”.
This is a fractal made with Apophysis using gnarl script.
btw, Yesterday I searched for a picture of myself as a little girl.
Today I found one, together with my 7 year older sister, I believe I was 3 or 4 years old at the time.
#writers, #memories, #PTSD, #from my dairy, #my life, #share shot, #history, #b/w, #school, #sister.
Comments (8)
Very nice work!!!
Precious fractal
Marvellous shapes and lovely colours !
I can see faces and needlework.
Cool !
None is ever alone! The Pains and the Gains form us like Gems! ;)
Your reaction is very valuable to me, it touches me, also because there is so much truth and comfort in it.
Been there, done that. Especially when I was a kid. Long story, but like you, my art, photography, and other creative outlets have kept me (relatively) sane. And having a loving wife (that my parents didn't like), has made my life complete. I'll take on any challenge now.
Your photo is so delightful, and your fractal is beautiful!
Never give up, ever! Good to see you back, my friend!
Thank you so much, Rod for sharing a part of your personal experience, as well as for your encouragement and understanding. So good that you have followed your own feeling by choosing your spouse. I both send you many blessings for many loving years ahead. btw, kareldg here on RR is my beloved husband, and a great support for me. 1 out of a thousand. ;-)
Such a touching photo and beautiful fractal image. I'm sorry about the tough things you've gone through, but glad you preserved and are around to share with us all the beautiful artwork and poetry as you have been. Really appreciate having you around. =)
Thank you so much, dear Amanda. You've made me very happy with your confirmation and appreciation, this helps because I'm still very insecure. ♥
You have brought ne to tears. Surly you are with angels. I felt I was reading about myself and my child hood. You are the gift. The part of heaven that is on earth. We are so luck to call you our friend. You have done so much for me in. You are a healer. Not afraid to speak up so that others know they are not aline. The image of you is exactly like I puctured you. Beautiful , precious and I can see your llitlle angel wings. The world is so much better with you in it! The fractal us beautiful as well. You expressed the flow of abundance throughout. We are so lucky , my darling. Nothing could be bettter at this very moment. Thank you for all you do! What an angel. Xoxo Therese