Reporter: "We're talking with Mr. Jerome Peachpit, of Podunk Falls. Hello, Mr. Peachpit. How are you today?" Peachpit: Fine, thank you." Reporter: Mr. Peachpit, all of Podunk Falls has been evacuated because it has started raining razor blades. Why are you still there?" Peachpit: Oh, I never leave for this kind of thing. I'm quite all right." Reporter: But...but you could get killed. Aren't you worried, Sir?" Peachpit: "Not at all. I was raised in this area and it's sort of a tradition to stay. There's nothing to worry about. Nothing will happen." Reporter: "You could get sliced in half! You're being totally foolish. How can you possibly say there's nothing to worry about?" Peachpit: "Well.... I do have an umbrella." {{Silence}} Reporter: "I can't believe this idiot. These people who think nothing will happen to them just because they say it won't, should have their heads examined. Well, that's all the time we have today. Join me tomorrow, as I report from ground zero, as that huge hurricane we're following down in the Gulf, comes ashore. I'll broadcast live while standing out in the wind and rain, dodging flying debris, because we here at All Bad News know that's what you, the viewer, wants to see. And remember, "Good news is bad and All Bad News is really good!". Good night!"
Best of luck in Texas