That gave me chills...I even peeked out my window real quick LOL I think there was a word left out by accident though....I think you meant for it to read "But there's no one there" but I don't think you need to redo it...people should figure it out :O) I really love the animation with it...and the little target at the end. Anyway EXCELLENT Poem very spooky like a ghost story and also very thought provoking :O) EXCELLENT!!!! :O)

Well... the poem is excellent true... but, when I compare the two, I seriously think Meico's version is more of a fun one if you will, and probably his borderlines less voyeurism and more of just nosey people, who are curious and enjoy reading other peoples sexual written foreplay or what not... and yours is more stead fast in what is known well and often thought of when we think of it, by some folks as a true voyeurism, and more so in this piece of writing leaning toward what many would more then likely consider dangerous, for you and the person watching you, I might think this person you describe outside your window watching you is more then curious, bringing him or her to obsession in which ends him or her in flirting with area's of the mind, their mind that may be corrupt for one reason or another...end result bringing the person they are watching "you" in this case harm in some way. In addition, that in itself is scary, the poem brings feelings of fear not fun leaving me with the over all feeling of creepy, and that is just the way I see it. Although the entire poem is short to the point and excellent telling the tale, and thank you for sharing too by the way!

Thats a neat poem with a cool thought...... which one of us is the vouyeur......... the one watching from the hide or the one that knows that is being watched.;) Excellent graphic to go with it.:O))

Well, I like this one. Seems a serious approach to the mindset. I didn't notice you meaning to convey humor and it doesn't. Voyeurific.

smiles and hugs u tightly your words touch as always my friend

No My poem was meant not to convey humor An altogether different message, I didn't mean to spook you all out I apologize:( but thank you for all the comments,it's just a different version Susan~

a chilling poem for sure, Susan! very creepy!! your poem made the hair on my arms rise!!!! Vote!!! big hug to ya!!!! I'll IM you in a minute.

cool poem plz write more ^^

I don't think your poem is creepy or funny, just very intriguing. You said so much in so few words, a testiment t your great writing skills. And the image is also quite intriguing. Very well done. :o) CC

Superb work, and indeed leave one wondering! Bravo!

Excellent done! Bravo! V!!!

interesting!

Not creepy to me, just asking who is the true voyeur, the watcher outside or the watcher from the inside. Sounds like both of them to me, feeding off of each other! Excellent perspective Susan and excellently written!

a little strange but true hmmmm something to think about. Terrific poem :)

truly terrific

Hmmmm... Makes you wonder?... One of your best! Awesome Poem + GIF!

Oh I agree entirely that this is a most stimulating take on the concept of the voyeur ... it seems to ask who needs who most? the watcher or the watched? and leaves us to ponder that maybe the obsession is mutual ... Very interesting indeed, Susan. Plaudits to you!

you do have a lot of talent for writng, straight foward... who's watching who :]

Excellent idea and Poem. Is the line "But see no there" worded as you intended? Since this is freeform, I'd leave in the word 'one'. But I'm no poet, and I know it. Nice graphic too. Dave :^>

I'm sorry I have not commented in a very long time on your poems as I have been very busy but I will get around to reading your other excellecntly written works of art. You are by far the best poet I've seen here at Renderosity and don't let negative comments about leaving a word out or which version is better! Yours is your own and I think it is simply one of the better dark poems I've seen. Keep up the beautiful words of literature that makes our minds wonder with amazment. smiles and hugzzzz

I like it.. I wonder sometimes if inadvertantly we don't invite such things as we are artists.. I mean we do want to be noticed or we do want that deepest part of ourselves to show. Yet, doesn't it make us somewhat vulnerable? Yet if there was some creep watching me outside of my house I'd go out and smack him in the head with a broom.. LOL We're weird..we humans.

This is a fine poem and an excellent thought in it. Who really is the voyeur ? I liked this one very much !

Not spooky at all to me, but a good question! I'm always peeking out the window to see what is going on! haha... Excellent poem! ;c)

Very succinct work. I read it a couple of times and it became more powerful, each time I read it. Well done. Steve (VOTE)

perfect words..like it very much..and the eyes is so lovely too....

yes never let any comments hinder the way you want to express yourself..and i beleive that this is one that gets all of us to thinking...outstanding as always sweetie..and the image u created says so much with that bullseye on it..set the mood for ur words.....Love ya..HLNGB2YNYLO...:)))

That was a typo and the word No one is suppose to be there thanks for the comments Love all you all Susan~~~~

Wonderful writing !!

That was so weird! My mind just put that other word in there, and I didn't even miss it! I like it, and the animation! You are so creative!

Short and to the point. simple, but lovable.