My English wasn't quite up to the task this time, so I had to call in some outside assistance. In other words: I wrote the story in German and then made the internet translate it for me. I have tried to keep the humor and the original tone intact. Hopefully, nothing important got lost in translation. Except, perhaps, a little dignity. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The torpedo was moving. Straight ahead. Very straight ahead. It had a reputation to uphold, after all. Otto stood by the stern gun and watched it closely. “That one's good.” “What?” Willi asked. “The torpedo.” “How can you tell?” “It’s moving.” That was, in fact, difficult to argue with. The white trail was getting closer and closer to the ship. Albrecht held the binoculars to his eyes. “Ten meters.” Otto placed one hand on the gun. “Should I?” “No.” “Just a little shot?” “No.” “Warning shot?” “Otto.” “All right.” Five meters. Then— BOOM! The explosion sent the water flying. The ship was transformed into a gigantic cloud of smoke, wood, and various pieces that had presumably been firmly bolted somewhere a moment earlier and had therefore never been intended to become projectiles. The Meeresgeist rocked violently. Willi clung to the controls. Fritze held on to his machinery. Otto held on to the gun. Albrecht tried to hold on to his dignity. He simply stood there. Mouth open. “Hit,” Otto said happily. Albrecht slowly nodded. “Yes.” “Right amidships.” “Yes.” “Clean shot.” “Yes.” A brief pause. Then the stricken ship slowly began to sink. “We did it,” Fritze said. Otto grinned. “I knew we could do it.” Albrecht picked up the binoculars. He was just about to watch the sinking of his first enemy when he stopped. In the glow of the flames, he could now see more. “Wait.” “What?” Willi asked. Albrecht looked through the binoculars again. Then lowered them. “The flag.” “What about it?” “I know that flag.” Otto looked over. “Which one?” “Ours.” Silence. Willi went pale. Fritze did too. Otto looked at Albrecht. Then at the ship. Then back at Albrecht. “Ours?” “Yes.” “So... Imperial?” “Yes.” Otto thought about it. “Then that wasn't an enemy.” “No.” A longer pause. “That’s bad.” Albrecht merely nodded. At the stern of the sinking ship, the Imperial flag was still clearly visible. And beside it was a whole line of people who were now making a very determined effort not to sink with it. Albrecht swallowed. “That's the flagship.” Nobody said anything. “The flagship?” Willi asked cautiously. “The flagship.” Fritze looked at the sinking ship. “The one with the admiral?” Albrecht nodded. Otto became thoughtful. “Which admiral?” Albrecht looked at him. “Our admiral.” Otto looked out at the ship again. “Ah.” He thought about it for a moment. “Then I suppose the test wasn't entirely successful after all.” Albrecht stared at him. “We just sank the flagship.” “Yes.” “With the admiral.” “Yes.” “Our admiral.” “We covered that.” Albrecht closed his eyes again. Otto looked at the stern gun, which he was now clutching like a treasured possession. “I could still fire another shot.” “NO!” “Just a little one.” “OTTO!” Otto slowly took his hands off the gun. “You're not allowed to do anything around here. As if it matters anymore.” Albrecht looked at his men. “We're going back.” Fritze nodded. “On the surface?” Albrecht thought for a moment. “Yes.” “Why?” Albrecht looked at the water. “Because I'm probably going to have to answer a lot of questions soon.” Otto raised his hand. “I could say it was an accident.” Albrecht looked at him. “It was.” Otto nodded happily. “Then we agree.” The Meeresgeist slowly began to turn. The compass immediately pointed in a completely different direction again. Albrecht looked at it. Then at the burning wreck. Then back at the compass. “You know what, Willi?” “Yes, Captain?” “Just go somewhere.” Willi nodded. “Aye, sir.” And so the Meeresgeist sailed away. Slowly. Very slowly. But at least in some direction. Outside, the flagship continued to sink. The admiral, who had personally come to witness the historic first successful torpedo attack by the Imperial Navy, was now mostly watching the sea get closer and closer to the top of his head. The great weapons test had therefore been a complete success. The torpedo worked. The accuracy was excellent. The explosive power was even better than expected. Only the target identification still required some minor improvement. The Navy would learn from this. Eventually. Perhaps. If anyone was left who remembered it. (Image render in DAZ)