On Being Female by auntietk
Open full image in new tab Members remain the original copyright holder in all their materials here at Renderosity. Use of any of their material inconsistent with the terms and conditions set forth is prohibited and is considered an infringement of the copyrights of the respective holders unless specially stated otherwise.
No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
On Being Female
I know what it's like
To feel a man's hand
Slide up my leg
Under my skirt
Uninvited
Unwanted
I know what it's like
To be badgered
Pushed
I know what it's like
To be called
Beautiful
Fat
Fine
Ugly
Sexy
Intrusive opinions
Revealing more about
Them
Than about
Me
I would have told you
Every woman in the world
Knows
From experience
How it is
But it turns out
I have one friend
One
Who has never experienced
Any of this
ONE!
We looked at her
Stunned
She is the only one we know
We have been taught
In so many ways
That our
Experiences are
Invalid
Unimportant
Hysterical
That she actually
Wondered
If it had happened to her
And she just hadn't
Noticed

Comments (12)
Darn, I hate when men behave like this. Who do they think they are? Do they understand? How would they react if treated in the same manner (by a bigger bully)? Unfortunately, I've had similar experiences but from certain women. It's NOT fun! What has happened to the Golden Rule - treat others as you would have others treat you? Nice reflection, Tara. Most of us MCPs (Male Chauvinist Piggies) need reminding, and some way more often than others. Keep up the good work! :-)
I'll refrain from making a specific comment about a certain contemporary political figure that should be obvious to everyone. I came of age in the late 60's when sexual freedom for both men & women was the culture that I was immersed in & I wasn't really aware of this kind of behavior very much. As I've gotten older, I've encountered many women who have experienced this kind of invasive harassment & I've come to realize how disturbingly commonplace it has been. It's a good thing that many women like you are speaking out about it...
Brilliant, Tara, and fascinating. I have friends who just accepted it as to be expected.
Very powerful and moving prose, Tara! With all that is being said, written on the net and news, you would think that the men would wake up and stop this reprehensible behaviour!
The more things change, as the saying goes. Many of us of the XY chromosome still have a lot to learn.
(And it's a very sad state of affairs when chauvinism is just thought of as "it is what it is.")
Very well written and needed, Tara.
Powerful story, and amazing that your friend actually could've experienced this and not known. I've seen that happen with a number of people (with sexual assault, racism, etc). Women have been trained too often to just not complain and accept it---some from fear of worse behavior from the men, some from lack of selfhood inculcated by so many men. Some from terror. You picked an amazing way to end your poem: I wasn't expecting it at all---I think I was expecting that she was finally groped; but your ending is, instead, a real power-slap of reality.
(Ok, my usual 'poetry' comments before I go on; bear with me...) You combine the "good" epithets with the bad, seamlessly ("beautiful/fat/fine/ugly/sexy"). Showing that they're all from the same demeaning source, ie, to be called beautiful by the wrong person and in the wrong way is as ugly as to be called ugly. Your pacing is real tara stuff, the way you divide the lines, your sense of one-word lines for emphasis, or things like the repeated "un"s in the first stanza ("Under my skirt/Uninvited/Unwanted"). The separated "Pushed" and "Me', etc. You use those stand-alone words as dividers, almost, they bring home the point of what came before them. (Or two "one"s, increasing the emphasis.) I can't talk about the meaning without talking about the poetry...Or the one-word lines, Invalid/Unimportant/Hysterical, etc...
After "stunned" a long space and your surprising conclusion. Trump does come to mind, as Claude alludes, but let's face it, B.Clinton did awful stuff and shut up the women he did it to; so did JFK and a lot of others. It's just Trump has a way that's so out-there and downright ugly, it's hard to not think of him, here. I grew up with guys, heard tons of locker room talk, and, while all sexes talk of the ones they're attracted to, men have a special way of regarding women as pillows, objects, toys. It makes it so easy to treat a woman like she's no more; and the shock and epithets when a woman stops them are legion. (And those are the least of the negative responses, as you know.) Very fitting poem for our time, and as always, very intuitively and finely composed. It's always great to see poetry from you, Tara.
As usual Mark said just about everything that needs to be said. This is a very powerful statement about how things are. Thankfully women are speaking out more and more these days. My grandmother just carried a long hat pin with her. No one ever bothered her twice. One of the best responses I've ever heard came from comedian Jenny Jones. When a stranger came up to her and put his arm around her and suggested they find a room she politely refused. "What are you, a lesbian?" he asked. "What are you, the alternative?" she shot back.
Wonderful writing Tara. Thank goodness there is good men on this earth. And where we men would be without proper woman who can also be found in this world. God bless.
This is something I wicking, because it is so intense; and it gives me many thoughts, profound, with regard to the experiences in all kinds of species. Things that I have been entrusted by others, mostly young women. So good to write this here, dear Tara. You are a strong woman.
Touching and powerful T well done!!!
Wonderful poem. Well written.
You have so many talents, my dear friend! This is so well written and so powerful!
I could tell you a story about a guy when I was in the Air Force who took us to dinner at the NCO Club. During dinner, he was trying to run his hand up Jo's leg.. Nice, huh? She was not impressed, and neither was I when she told me years later. She didn't tell me at the time because she didn't want me to wind up in the brig for killing him right there...