Rollin On The River by beachzz
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Description
Rollin On The River
Forward two
He shouts
One more
Stop
Forward right
Back left
Turn
Hard
Yeah that’s it
We got that one
One more
Comin
White water
Fast cold
Dangerous
FUN
Next one
Class 4
Pay attention
Tricky
Go now
This is it
Paddle right
Hard
Watch out
Left back
Right forward
NOW
Gotta listen
Hard to hear
The water
Roars
Go now
Paddle hard
All forward
FAST
And then
It’s done
We float
Down the river
6/21/09
Comments (13)
GREAT pic and words, beachzz!! Looks like FUN, indeed! (Old TallPockets has OFTEN been told HE does NOT have BOTH of his oars in the water!) WINK. My BEST to you and yours, KIND SOUL. T.P.
Fantastic picture and words, I love the almost military sound of the orders barked...but without the "kill the bad guys" sort of urgency. Great rhythm and brevity. More fantastic work. More great, evocative writing.
Oh yeah! Could feel the rush and splash as you race down the rapids. Choppy words keep the imagery clear. Great write. My first impression as I saw your title was that CCR song as it floated into my brain.. What a surprise when I read the poem :o)
well from all I know of these journeys, you got the sense of immediacy and absolute 'now'...I know these trips tell you to live in the absolute now, looking ahead (to be prepared) but always being utterly present. I take it, that's one of the powers of these trips, ie, a chance to cast off the past & future—those ever present burdens—and feel utterly alive right now. That's what your poem conveys, never a lulled moment, always being 'called', and then———whoosh, you're done and you just float away...Lovely. Makes me want to do this. I'm so happy you took this trip again this year!
Terrific! Exactly evokes what it must be like, clever writing!
You've done it!!! My last time on the river (white water rafting) was probably 25-30 years ago and this reading put me instantly right back in the boat bundled up in a big, bulky life jacket with oar in hand madly attempting to do everything commanded by the guide/helmsman in the back of the raft. And then you puctuated the whole experience with that gentle, relaxing moment when the white water goes almost perfectly calm after the rapids and you are floating on a mirror. What a ride.
I suppose one really has to pay attention to the one shouting the orders. Or it's all overboard for everyone.
Excellent to outline the fun time like this in verse, nice one sweetie!
Your writing style is PERFECTLY suited to white-water rafting! I never would have been able to tell you that before, but it's quite obvious to me now, and I wonder why I hadn't seen it. Spectacular poem!
Great action shot. I went down Horse Rapids in Japan. But, nothing quite like this. Aloha
verty nice shot
fantastic!!
wonderful work warm hugs, Linda