Sat, Jun 1, 6:24 AM CDT

Jeet's Pilot Lesson

Critique Science Fiction posted on Aug 01, 2007
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Description


The ancient airship groaned under the force of the wind. The drone of the engines were loud even in the travel weary control room as Narchi and Jeet came in. Jeet ran over to the port side window and stared outside in wonder. He shouted, "WOWEE! Lookit, Mister Narchi! You can see our house from up here covered in green dust! COOOOOOOOL!" Narchi sighed and rolled his eyes and laughed seeing Mirelle's delighted look at Jeet shining in the afternoon sunlight. Narchi said to her, "Well, Capitan Mirelle--I'll sync up the power frequencies to the MMI generator. You might have noticed the slight flutter in the lift. I need to sync 'em up before we start losing lift." Mirelle shrugged and said, "Uhm? Oh-kay. Knock yourself out. The power boards are a bit balky after all the retrofits me and my dad did to 'em. The power generator panel is the closest ti the front." Jeet turned to Narchi and Mirelle and asked excitedly," What can I do? Can I drive it? Fly it, I mean? Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooom! God, this is SO exciting! What a view!" Narchi clicked some control nodes on the power board and pointed over at the only other chair on the control deck, "Jeet! Why don't you go sit down and DON'T touch anything! You've flown before! On Pazu's SPACESHIP! With an actual ALIEN? This is NOT impressive in comparison! No offense, Mirelle?" Jeet's tail lashed the air as he said, "Big deal! It was a little cramped thing! I couldn't see ANYTHING and we flew underground! Your racer's back seat was HUGE and I couldn't see over the lip of the window! This place is SO COOL! Also Mirelle is So BEAUTIFUL......" Narchi hadn't heard anything from Mirelle about being offended, and now he wondered about Jeet trailing off. He turn and caught the naked looks of desire between the two. Narchi was suddenly angry as he snapped, "Mirelle! Where in HELL are we going? We're heading away from City 64 at one hundred sixty-two kilometers per hour! Jeet! SIT DOWN and monitor the air traffic! There's another airship in our airspace! Also two fighters orbiting about city 32! We DO NOT want to run into THEM! RIGHT? PEOPLE?" Mirelle blinked and giggled out, "OOPS! Sorry. Just distracted." Jeet looked abashed and sat down without a word. He moved with concise , perfect movements, but his tail was bristled up in a knot, and his ears folded flat. Narchi started softly, "Jeet..." Jeet snapped out, uncharacteristically,"I'm ON IT!" Narchi adjusted his visor and said tersely, "After we dock at City 64, anyone can fool around doing whatever we want. Right NOW--this MOMENT we are in dangerous territory. We have a prisoner, or intruder or whatever you want to call him AND we're on a rescue mission,too! We have things we HAVE TO DO, whether we like them or not." Narchi added with a laugh, "All things equal--I rather watch a porno movie and then take a nap! So much for wishful thinking!" Narchi was happy to hear Mirelle and Jeet laugh. Narchi shook his head, and decided to stay on the control deck to chaperon the two of them. --TO BE CONTINUED!-- Poser6&7, Wings 3d, Blacksmith3d

Comments (13)


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3Dsmacker

5:51PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

This is real good. +5

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vikinglady

6:01PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

rotflmao... Poor Narchi, stuck as chaperon.

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Margenal

6:45PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

Good job on sceneryand poses, i like it....

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magnus073

7:29PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

Highly detailed and amazing scene, your a master with the story lines to accompany your images.

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drifterlee

7:49PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

Fantastic scene!!!!!!!!

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MarciaGomes

9:41PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

FANTÁSTICA OBRA,EXCELENTES DETALHES.+++++++5

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markon

11:43PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

Great render and story

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3D_Explorer

11:44PM | Wed, 01 August 2007

The lighting and the textures need a lot of work and the poses look very canned. I can appreciate the effort.

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TheAnimaGemini

12:39AM | Thu, 02 August 2007

Great details and of course your story. I like the poses. reminds me of my first practice lesson when i made my drivers license. hehehehe I think i had the same stupid face. LOL I only agree with your light setting. Somehow it is wrong. I think the two teacher are to dark.

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Rutra

1:40AM | Thu, 02 August 2007

The pose and expression of Mirelle is very good! LOL I like the lighting setup in general but the light beams are grainy, specially in full-size. One detail I do not like about the lighting is that it iluminates too much the ceiling which, since it's a bit flat and uninteresting, it's not very good, IMHO. Also its color is almost the same tone as the planet's ground, which I think is visually not good, IMHO. I like the contrast between the fact that this is a spaceship but the block with the steering wheel seems kind of antique and made of stone.

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JOELGLAINE

2:09AM | Thu, 02 August 2007

What spaceship? It's a replica of an ancient airship with everything falling apart!

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Anniebel

4:38PM | Thu, 02 August 2007

The story continues to be riveting. I like this piccie much better than the last, which was a little too cluttered for me. I don't mind the poses etc I think they work for the scene.

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MagikUnicorn

11:20AM | Tue, 18 September 2007

BEAUTY


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