that who was me... life has a unique way of kicking one in the teeth and the shock waves run thru the body and leave one spent and unsure, dangling on a precipe of what now...fear settles in and the light begins to fade...when first you looked into my eyes you saw the light, when you look now do you see that its gone...that its been replaced by dark and forboding, thats 'me' now, the light has gone out and I no longer care, no longer dream or wish or think or love...the abyss has swallowed that who was me, I no longer know who I am, and no longer care, strength has gone, emptiness reigns supreme... you knew me before, you loved me then, do you know me now and do you love me still...no matter...nothing can touch who I have become, steel walls, no penetration, alone in the dark, wondering if I should just give in...there would be no pain, no heartache, nothing but deep empty darkness, nothing, nothing, nothing... and nothing has become welcome in my life, shutting down now, no reason to remain, can't think, can't feel, can't be, the abyss has swallowed that who was me...I no longer know who I was, and no longer care, strength has gone, emptiness reigns supreme... no more tears, no more smiles, no more asking please hear me, no more believing in what could be, only silence, only stillness, only alone, seems it was meant to be, leaving now, hope you see, it no longer matters, I am no longer me...I am no longer me...but at last I will be free...hello darkness, my only friend, goodbye me, the abyss has swallowed that who was me...I no longer know who I was, and no longer care, strength has gone, emptiness reigns supreme... don't cry, don't miss me, don't feel you are to blame...its who I was that made the pain, I that made the darkness a welcome friend, I never really exsisted, I am in the dream, I hide within until the dark comes and cries welcome and now the abyss has swallowed that who was me...I no longer know who I was, and no longer care, strength has gone, emptiness reigns supreme... sometimes the only way to survive is to welcome the dark, to let it all pass into the dark before light can come again...to bury what was, before light can come again...today I bury that which was, and I hope that I find me again...I hope that you will be there when the light finds its way, I hope that I will survive, be a brand new me, better, stronger, and that fullness then reigns supreme...but for now the abyss has swallowed that who was me...I no longer know who I was, and no longer care, strength has gone, emptiness reigns supreme... Schizophrenia a severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all, of the following features: emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations. I work and live in a house where the people suffer from mental disorders, schizophrenia, bi polar, manic depressive and age related dementia. In an effort to try to better understand what happens with these people and to try to handle situations better, I have been trying to put myself in thier place, in effect to be them for just a little while. They tell me to talk to them on thier level, well how can I do that without understanding what thier level is? So I wrote this in the hopes that I would get feedback that would help me to help them and to help myself as well...this is not an easy place to live and I have been banging my head against a brick wall trying to be an authority figure but also someone they are comfortable with and do not feel that they have to attack or argue with constantly. Maybe I am on the wrong track here but the words seemed to me to be to some degree what one must go thru when they are not 'normal'. If I am way off base then please tell me your thoughts or what you go thru if this is you in any degree, email if you prefer. Please know I am not depressed, I only went to this place in my mind briefly for understanding...image is a capture from my camcorder..thanks for viewing!