My mom and I have a weird relationship -- not like she touched me when I was a kid, mind you. It's just that with my dad being such a stuck-up bitch most of the time, she's the only parent I respect . . . and then she says something like "people are like onions". I realize she meant "people have many layers". That sort of sums up most of her flaws as a person: the thought comes from a good place, but when she test-drives the thought something gets lost in the translation. I realize nobody gives a crap about pictures of my mom, let alone my inane ramblings about her, but this is my gallery and sentimental bullshit goes here along with everything else. Me and Stef have had our differences (and by "differences" I mean "fights", and by "fights" I mean "I threw a ladle at her head") but I still love her. She's probably the nicest person I'll ever meet, even if sometimes her attempts at being nice come out oniony. And trust me, I regret the ladle thing. She forgives me. She shouldn't. Anyway, about the pictures. See, very few good photographs of my mom exist. I was hanging around outside with a camera and she was gardening, which is one of the few things in life she does entirely for herself. Sometimes I like to take pictures of her chipmunk teeth as a joke (to be fair, dad's teeth are worse; when he smiles he looks like the Crypt Keeper) but this time I decided the world could use some decent shots of my nice old mama. So I took one when she wasn't looking (upper-left corner), showed it to her and she liked it so I took some more. For her sake and yours, I did not include any close-ups of her teeth. In these pictures she is happy, and that makes me happy, and makes me feel like I'm one small step closer to making amends for how shitty I've treated her over the years. Stef puts up with alot, and for that I thank her. See you soon.