I hate being a ghost And scaring the living. But I find that most people are quite forgiving, After I tell them My side of the story Which, to their surprise, Is not nasty, or gory. I spent my whole life Proving ghosts don't exist, Using tests and procedures Too many to list. I proved beyond doubt That the skeptics were right And now I'm condemned To scare people at night. So if you don't want To end up like me Just acknowledge the spirits That you cannot see!