All for a Dame by kmw
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No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
Why don't I just pay attention to the system...?
See, I got this system. When I meet a woman, I check her careful. Reeeaaal careful. I grade everything. The eyes. The hair. The cleavage. The legs. The dress. The rear end. The curve of the hip. The nail paint. The eyeliner. Each item gets a rating, which I add up in my head because everyone knows I'm a regular Einstein in the math department. After, I take that total and multiple it by how long it took her to gimme a boner. Then I divide that number by how attracted the broad seems to be to me. You know, how hard she's flirting and how killer the smile in my direction is.
Once I've got that final number, I add 3, invert it and multiple by two. And that's the gauge I use to judge how much I shouldn't trust her.
Of course I never listen to the system. No matter how many goddamned times it turns out to be right. Or how many times I end up in a big fat mess like this.
Oh, well... guess I'd better start running...
