Mon, May 20, 9:41 PM CDT

Lone Gunslinger Story Notes

Writers Work In Progress posted on Jan 06, 2015
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[Special Notes: This is not a story. These are the story notes I usually post once somewhere during a book. These are for the amusement of the followers of my short stories. Have fun.] The Branches of the Gunslinger Order: Administration Intelligence Corps Flight Operations Supply Corps Engineers Corps Law Enforcement Teams Training Corps Ground Operations Battleship Fleet Diplomatic Operations Medical Corps Maintenance Corps Food Preparation Corps Command Corps Finance Corps Chapters: Escape - Sheriff recruits a bound-orphan The Long Run - cheating - horses - first come first serve - meet your mentor Simon - mentor - cabin - rocks - start training (Simon must be at the center of forty-three's world) The red flare The Long Jump/Run/Walk/Swim Puzzle Map- the trainees have to solve a puzzle relay map. Bones of our ancestors - a ringing bell Scene 1- Establish that Gunslinger Theodore is off-world Rattlesnake is 23 years old. Simon and Hero, Cyrus and Twig… out learning to track, Hero keeps getting shot, think Simon is getting revenge for getting shot Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice Harvest moon, big reddish orange moon on the horizon Scene 2- Theodore is killed, bones of the ancestors ritual begins Scene 3- Simon (Longshot) tells stories of the ancestors, Lone Gunslinger beginnings Scene 4- Rattlesnake becomes Gunslinger Theodore (Dart) Closing line. I hope I have the name Hero for a very long time… me too Ribbons of Misunderstanding - ace and hero? Lets throw hero a loop, depth of character… hmm.. Hero doesn't think things through, good potential for character growth. Scene 1 - opening scene Hero is with Horse above the supply route to the mountain counting trucks - training exercise is to determine the supplies coming into the mountain. Hero sees Rattlesnake at the warehouse where the trucks come in. Rattlesnake is getting something from one of the drivers. Hero decides to follow Rattlesnake instead of doing his training mission. Scene 2 - Hero ignores his duty and continues to follow Rattlesnake. Hero sees Rattlesnake and Ace together several times. Rattlesnake kisses Ace on the forehead. Scene 3 - Hero calls Rattlesnake out. Hero gets in trouble, almost loses his position as Class Leader or maybe gets suspended. the eight boys of his class cover him. Thunder is made class leader. Scene 4 - Hero gets a visitor. You followed the wrong person. Raven. I should have known this was a Simon. Chapter 6 Scene 1 - Hero meets a Raven, I want this Raven to be different from all the other Ravens… this Raven was raised by a Human?? No… link the First Eggs, The Raven offers to help Hero. With the Raven's help, Hero catches Gunslinger Richard loading crates of drugs in the white van. Hero is slightly redeemed but at the same time the trust gap deepens. Scene 2 - Hero has conversation with Simon about Gunslinger kids, three weeks go by, Hero is miserable, punishment sucks, then Ace, of all people, or maybe Rattlesnake, asks for Hero to be allowed to go to the social at the dining cabin. Hero gets shunned and decides to walk home on his own. His Raven friend shows back up. Scene 3 - Hero wants to level with Simon, introduces the Raven to Simon, some drama occurs, a deal is struck. The search for the drug manufacturing lab begins in earnest. Ravens motives are revealed. Scene 4 - With the Ravens help, they find the drug lab and conduct a raid. The Raven agrees to help ensure the Gunslinger Order isn't destroyed over the scandal. Simon has his own Raven contact. Chapter 7 - Jaco the Jackdaw [ 2 syll. Ja-co, jac-o] pronounced as YAH-K-ow Scene 1 - Jaco likes shiny things, sweater, coffee mug, in the classroom, Thunder hates it, accused of being a thief and a liar. Raven lover, Hero finishes extra duty, horse is returned. Jewelry, never seen the raven goddess, corvus corax, history books, science, technology Scene 2 - Ground Week, Jaco the outcast, rewires the vid-screen, house jackdaws industry, com specialists, invented the ear-spider, Jon Black, a hole in the universe, Scene 3 - Tower Week, A cruel prank, chicken platter Scene 4 - Jump Weeks, Jaco the hero Chapter 8 - Escape and Evasion, Haunted Past, Fathers and Warrants, Custody Trail, Raunu Major, Tarous Minor Scene 1 - Final failure Scene 2- Ice Training Scene 3- Escape Scene 4- Jaco to the Rescue Chapter 9 - Injustice Scene 1 - Warrant and Extradition Think two worlds in the same solar system, there would be history, wars, treaties, so forth. Scene 2 - Return to Tarous Scene 3 - On the farm Scene 4 - Trial Errol of Brocal's Farm Been dragging the father son thing out long enough, time to wrap that up and get ready for a deployment. Wrap up Jaco-Hero relationship as brothers but leave it at the border, they could fall to either side of the fence later…too easy… no.. Get twisty… duh, of course, I know the twist ending. Need to show why the Ravens are doing what they are doing. Hero, Misfire, Sprint, Rock, Twig - okay… the others are still too gray, but can't solve that. Pov is first person…. Future episode, flesh out the others? Thunder needs wrapped up and set up to be an antagonist later. Chapter 10 - Song of Brothers, no outline, need to do the Jaco/Hero First Bonding Ceremony. Chapter 11 - Trial Going to be a master twisty episode. Judge is corrupt, cousin to Mrs. Brocal Need to get rid of judge Need tie in to other books. How to bring Wes in? Leave Colt out for now, he has his own drama later Keal of House Keanuai Mentor/trainee Simon-Hero's Gunslinger (Eight) (Errol) - Hero Giles- Last Boy's Gunslinger (Nine)- Stumble August-(first) Thunder Matt-(second) Feeder Cyrus-(third) Twig Willet-(fourth) Rock Judson-(fifth) Sprint Elias-(sixth) Misfire Silas-(seventh) Sleepy Second years, Mentor/trainee Ezra-girl from previous years run (fifth) - Ace Leo-boy from previous years run (second) - Dung Basil-boy from previous years run (sixth) - Ammo Leland-boy from two years ago run (first) - Blade Stewart-boy from two years ago run (third) - Club Graduated Gunslinger Theodore-boy from run seven years ago- Rattlesnake, Ace's brother Chapter 12 - and Chapter 13 - Story ran amok on it's own. Usually happens right about this spot in my books. Arrest/trial… new minor character, Josh. Plan to bring the renegade Ravens to the Lone Gunslingers… Chapter 14, a main character needs to die soon. Advance the Raven mysticism, totally blow the rational Gunslingers minds. Sleepy is class leader How about the Ravens are fighting over their new constitution, or setup, the way the new continental congress fought with each other. Chapter 15 - Post Rider Hero is on Post Duty 16 riders Story ideas: Josh, deployment, relationships, Rapheal - Tani, Raph, and Salia moss/Raen Moss Michael - gift for his son arrives - first real revolver Riley - a letter from his mother Henry is off the road a bit - crashing plates Cyrus - game adventure by mail - level 3 wizard - which door to take August - electric socks Rattlesnakes place-Ace has Jaco up a tree Andy the miner…gold in the river - prescription refill Josh has his first shoot-out - Judson - orphan he supports - from an old mission Ian - grandson at college Serione - spies, ravens are in the cabin, - brownies from home Commander Conrad - moral dilemma's are hard Duncan is grievously wronged - the boot warmer he ordered is broken Here's the basis for Salia Moss, just move it from open dry areas to the deep dark caverns of Darai: Description: Reindeer moss is a low-growing plant only a few centimeters tall. It does not flower but does produce bright red reproductive structures. Habitat and Distribution: Look for this lichen in open, dry areas. It is very common in much of North America. Edible Parts: The entire plant is edible but has a crunchy, brittle texture. Soak the plant in water with some wood ashes to remove the bitterness, then dry, crush, and add it to milk or to other food. mosses or lichens are nearly 94% carbohydrates. It was also used in the making of Swedish brandy and vodka. The acids is contains may upset your stomach a little. best when prepared as a tea,but can also be entirely eaten Chapter 16 - Children's Play Here's an opportunity to tell the History complete of the Lone Gunslingers, and the secret of why the base must stay here. Better to do a plateau story at this point, don't release a heavy drama at Christmas time, do Festival Day stories. Run the evening of the Children's day Festival Show some depth with other kids and their social structure No third grade class, shadow war that year, no births Jaco and Ace twist Quartermaster Corps arrive - setup for the next several stories. Chapter 17 - Falcon Air Base Why do they need to go to the Falcon Base?... Jaco hasn't flown for over a year now, needs to renew his class 1 fighter pilot license. (or upgrade from a class 2 license. Air training against Falcons… Hero gets sick… needs an implant. Spend the episode traveling to the Falcon Base Chapter 18 - Sparrow Ball Might be a good time to explore Daraian games. Sparrow Ball. Long stick (called a strike) with a round end, kinda like a long flat spoon. Can't let the sparrow touch you, any part of the stick is okay, ground is okay, touching the sparrow with your body is illegal blocking. Illegal blocking puts a second sparrow ball in play for 3 minutes. Hard Rubber Ball, three inch diameter. Blue Sparrow is primary ball, Red Sparrow is secondary ball. Twelve on a cast (team), (collective noun for falcons, hawks are a kettle). One wing measurement is twenty feet. (soccer is 100 yards by 60 yards) Sparrow ball field is 15 wings by 9 wings. One Center Six Mids Four Deeps One Nester Chapter 19 - Raptor 337 Time to explore the economy? Or perhaps what guards Falcon's economy. What are the Raptors? What purpose do they serve in House Falcon? Think about the pre-draft, House Falcon ran Zan's Academy… ran the airfield.. We now know House Falcons runs airports and provides air support to the lone gunslingers. … Air Raptor, (Air Marshall) A clattering of Jackdaws A bevy of quail A bouquet of pheasants [when flushed] A brood of hens A building of rooks A cast of falcons A charm of finches A colony of penguins A company of parrots A congregation of plovers A cover of coots A covey of partridges [or grouse or ptarmigans] A deceit of lapwings A descent of woodpeckers A dissimulation of birds A dole of doves An exaltation of larks A fall of woodcocks A flight of swallows [or doves, goshawks, or cormorants] A gaggle of geese [wild or domesticated] A host of sparrows A kettle of hawks [riding a thermal] A murmuration of starlings A murder of crows A muster of storks A nye of pheasants [on the ground] An ostentation of peacocks A paddling of ducks [on the water] A parliament of owls A party of jays A peep of chickens A pitying of turtledoves A raft of ducks A rafter of turkeys A siege of herons A skein of geese [in flight] A sord of mallards A spring of teal A tidings of magpies A trip of dotterel An unkindness of ravens A watch of nightingales A wedge of swans [or geese, flying in a "V"] A wisp of snipe Chapter 20 - Jackdaw Hero walking away was an insult to the Falcons. Now he has to deal with the fall-out of his decision, welcome to the real world, Hero. Last two were serious drama, need to lighten up on this one. Lets have a bit of a fun twist. Start strong with a bit of drama and quickly move to light fun. OMFG… I can't believe this!!! There is a major misspelling that runs through every book since the very beginning, every chapter!!! How could I have missed it? And not one single reader ever picked it up. Don't ever tell what the misspelling is, go back and fix them. Thought; it can't be that easy, there must be a sub-plot, something deeper, why would the Goddess allow the First Eggs to build a new House. … The prophecy, of course. The Temple has sent their youngest and brightest off world to ensure the continuity of the Daraian species. The Temple fought it, but the Goddess remained quiet and let the drama play out. One sub House to Raunu and later the Main House to Kitsune. Guaranteed survival, the prophecy grows near…. Hmm, no, the Main House degenerates further. The Goddess is putting all her eggs in one basket?... The renegades. Don't have to follow the pre-drafts.. Think outside the nest…. Oh ancestors, of course, the opposite of a black raven… Cody's story. Next book maybe… The White Raven. Renegade Ravens Female/Male - Place in order - Name Tani/ - Mother Corvus Sena/Ganu - High Priestess, High Guardian Minai/Kruku - Half-wing/Feather Leanae/Rono - Dive/Blade Elai/Cern - Edge/Hopper Kala/Sorn - Cat/Shadow (really? A bird named cat?) Ara/Peli - Leather/Roar (yes, a bird that roars) Uelai/Yotai - Chatter/Silent or Silence (these two have to be magpies) Fraina/Beai - Rider/Mane Possible extra Raven nicknames: Building - crates - guns - ammo - range Training - run - range - ropes - Across the Mountain Friends Language - Darai - Kitsune - Carinian - Pyran Girl Test Team Winter - During the winter Simon goes on mission - dies? - naw, keep simon, wont advance the story to kill that character Drop Break Crises Mission Infiltration Capture Interrogation Choices Revenge Reunion Characters: Errol, protagonist, released bound-orphan, smart, appears ruthless but isn't really, but can be. Soft spoken, doesn't mind being a follower, meaning that he will follow orders, give him a direction and let him loose. He won't fail. - hmmm… flip that. Make him a fallible character, got too many super characters, he needs issues. Giles, Raphael Augustin Simon Ezra Leo Joaquin Elias Silas Mattan Basil Theodore Phillip Cyrus Peregrine Gareth Herschel Bart Wendell Roderick Percival Wilt Leland Elmore Bennett Merritt Wilmer Stewart/Stuart Wilber Judson Conrad Catch Phrases: Full of rocks, You're full of rocks, Do you want to be full of rocks, We have no friends, just memories, are they good memories, they are the best memories. Sorry, didn't know you still wanted it Past is in the past - past ends with a 't' for time, and time is in the past Passed is movement The twelve aspects of culture for grouping information when studying countries are as follows: 1. Food - explored this idea, stay with Darain food restrictions 2. Clothing - uniforms, difference, Raven leather, Gunslinger dusters, flex armor, Carinian skin suits, 3. Recreation - haven't barely touched this, only have the krat'ne game 4. Government - explored Imperial governing, go deeper into local governments 5. Education - Team Gunslinger Cadets, … Lone Gunslingers train more along the lines of traditional army/navy special forces trainees 6. Language - this really needs delved deeper into 7. Religion - Gunslinger Order, Raven Order, Carinian Guard, Enlightenment 8. Transportation -- something new here.. Explore deeper 9. Economy -- barely touched, what is the money, need a more established concept for the money 10.Environment -- ocean world, mountain world, prairies, desert, jungle..but Reli wasn't working out so well 11.Culture -- ongoing 12. Arts - barely touched, could go deeper… thinking explore music I need to write a galactic lexicon. Note to self, get one of those cia country study books and look at the format closer. Need to solidify the 27 major worlds and 22 minor worlds. Mora, Moro, Moero, Jaco the Jackdaw Possible counter-point to the Corvus Corax Corvus mellori - little raven Not all Houses see the history of Darai the same. Daurian jackdaw House Jackdaw. Communications specialists. Jaco is brilliant with electronics. [Special Notes:] Tani/ - Mother Rook Sena/Ganu - High Priestess, High Guardian Minai/Kruku - Half-wing/Feather Leanae/Rono - Dive/Blade Elai/Cern - Edge/Hopper Kala/Sorn - Cat/Shadow (really? A bird named cat?) Ara/Peli - Leather/Roar (yes, a bird that roars) Uelai/Yotai - Chatter/Silent (these two have to be magpies) Fraina/Beai - Rider/Mane • Accepted, Accused, Acknowledged, Admitted, Advertised, Affirm, Agonized, Agreed, Alleged, Announced, Answered, Appealed, Apply for, Arranged, Articulated, Asked, Asserted, Asseverate, Assumed, Assured, Attract, Aver, Avow, • Barked, Bawl, Bawled, Beamed, Beckoned, Begged, Bellowed, Beseeched, Blubbered, Blurted, Bossed, Breathed, Broadcast, • Cajole, Called, Carped, Cautioned, Censured, Chimed in, Choked, Chortled, Chuckled, Circulate, Claim, Comforted, Conceded, Concurred, Condemned, Confer, Confessed, Confided, Confirm, Consoled, Contend, Continued, Crave, Cried out, Criticized, Croaked, Crooned, Crowed, • Declared, Defend, Demanded, Denote, Dictated, Disclosed, Disposed, Disseminate, Distribute, Divulged, Drawled, • Emitted, Empathized, Encourage, Encouraged, Entreated, Exact, Exclaimed, Explained, Exposed, • Faltered, Finished, Fumed, • Gawped, Get out, Giggled, Given, Glowered, Grieved, Grinned, Groan, Groaned, Growled, Grumbled, • Handed on, Held, Hesitated, Hinted, Hissed, Hollered, Howled, • Impart, Implied, Implored, Importune, Inclined, Indicate, Informed, Inquired, Insisted, Interjected, Invited, • Jabbered, Joked, Justified, • Keened, • Lamented, Laughed, Leered, Lilted, • Maintained, Make known, Make public, Marked, Mewled, Mimicked, Moaned, Mocked, Mourned, Murmured, Mused • Necessitated, Needed, Noted, • Observed, Offered, Ordered, • Panted, Passed on, Pleaded, Postulated, Preached, Premised, Presented, Presupposed, Proclaimed, Prodded, Professed, Proffered, Promised, Promulgated, Proposed, Protested, Provoked, Publicized, Published, Puled, Put forth, Put out, • Quaked, Queried, Quipped, Quivered, Quizzed, Quoted, • Reassured, Raged, Ranted, Reckoned that, Rejoiced, Rejoined, Released, Remarked, Remonstrated, Repeated, Replied, Reprimanded, Requested, Required, Requisition, Retorted, Revealed, Roared, • Said, Sang, Scoffed, Scolded, Seethed, Sent on, Settled, Shared, Shed tears, Shouted, Shrieked, Shrugged, Shuddered, Snarled, Sniveled, Sobbed, Solicited, Sought, Specified, Spluttered, Spread, Stammered, Stated, Stuttered, Stressed, Suggested, Supposed, Swore, • Taunted, Teased, Testified, Thundered, Ticked off, Told, Told off, Tore a strip off, Touted, Trailed off, Transferred, Transmitted, Trembled, Trumpeted, • Understood, Undertook, Upbraided, Uttered, • Verified, Vociferated, Voiced, Vouched for, Vouchsafe, • Wailed, Wanted, Warned, Weep, Went on. Wept, Wheedle, Whimpered, Whined, Whispered, • Yawped, Yelled, Yelped,Yowled "Did the Sparrows invent this game?" "Naw, the Falcons invented it, but the Sparrows have won the Championship before… once. The Hawks have won twelve times, and the Ravens four times, this is Darai's biggest sport." "How long have you been playing this game?" Razor grins. "A little over a thousand years." "What? The Falcons have won the Championship over nine-hundred and eighty times? Why does anyone even still play?" "There are a lot of Houses and they have to play each other before they get to the Championship, and we didn't make it into the Championship four times, those were the famous Hawk-Raven games." "Who beat you?" I ask. "The Hawks beat us seven times," replies Razor. "Ready to play?" "Let's do it!" Lance, Bank, Flip, and Zoom run to one end of the field while I follow Razor, Scream, and Claw to the other end. "Hey, are those nicknames?" I ask running after Razor. "Of course, we use them as our call-signs," replies Razor. "Oh, kind of like us." "Where do you think you got the idea for nicknames from?" says Scream. "Seriously?" Falcon names (where do you think you got the idea for nicknames from, you guys have the imagination of a wet noodle) Razor, Scream, Claw, Furrow, Lance, Bank, Flip, Zoom, Sparrow Ball. Long stick (called a strike) with a round end, kinda like a long flat spoon. Can't let the sparrow touch you, any part of the stick is okay, ground is okay, touching the sparrow with your body is illegal blocking. Illegal blocking puts a second sparrow ball in play for 3 minutes. Hard Rubber Ball, three inch diameter. Blue Sparrow is primary ball, Red Sparrow is secondary ball. Twelve on a cast (team), (collective noun for falcons, hawks are a kettle). One wing measurement is twenty feet. (soccer is 100 yards by 60 yards) Sparrow ball field is 15 wings by 9 wings. One Center Six Mids Four Deeps One Nester Daraian language sample: O mecrue ho i eha saeca. Siesi se hoe lasie isi ececuhemli. Acahocraha ciclacri haslamo sroe. Lo ececi mii suo hoelre ciia. Oeclamre co o ehohe caie lamila. Mi asii saalohelri ico mo la he. Suse ece hocrelo e ho creha. Hacu osahe lihe mlilra la eci. I luluheca mlala emo laice sosi ha? Mise hoca hruocu salilume hia losaa. Ollali i mio e cua. O lusu e sai lacimolaci clohieli. Seo acu sihoclea acu crai uho. O ha oe saohimu co maolo. Sromocrecle mrea asi hieemo clicrehu eho? Sruseciule misro ucaca lecrumri milamu u ecima. Cei isi mluhelo oi hececi silei asi mehili. Ca mihohro hace huhalocuca hiui. Hruci hriha hoho hi hue srole. Lee hli lecallahrisu sucomuemla aiimle ehieca sae llemesi. Calo usahiamri eli. Clalae haomo sloo cilahrace cuie ei sicilamre? E lio eehi mamu ohulle sosla? Mroliculralra use clusa cumea cai. Hei suma clelu huo mleii hoha! Cicru su houci seo ii saae. Mecu clolulrola heelra lumloli lii eiso. Sumue crica memimre sosao eolehelo ehro. Himlao emi mo soseose li mracilrocei! Soelea oluloco lomi eiemrihro mille eu?

Comments (13)


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ontar1

4:10AM | Wed, 07 January 2015

That is a lot of notes and interesting in itself to read!

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Faemike55

4:51AM | Wed, 07 January 2015

Very cool notes

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GrandmaT

8:18AM | Wed, 07 January 2015

That is why these stories are so good. You THINK about them in detail before writing. It's great to see a brain at work!

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Cyve

10:14AM | Wed, 07 January 2015

Marvelous capture once again !!!

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Radar_rad-dude

12:05PM | Wed, 07 January 2015

Thanks for sharing your notes! Very much appreciated!

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jendellas

2:20PM | Wed, 07 January 2015

Amazing notes, great pic. xx

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netsuke

3:21PM | Wed, 07 January 2015

I'm afraid you have the patience of a saint to be this organized. I'm afraid you'll have to vie for Teri for sainthood though.

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auntietk

7:17PM | Wed, 07 January 2015

Oh man, misspelled words. I see 'em all the time, and ignore every last one. Not just you, but everywhere. Do you want me to point them out, or just keep my mouth shut? I always know what you mean ... proper spelling doesn't further the plot. I notice misused words everywhere, too. I can't tell you how many times I've read someone's note here on RR that says, "Things are sort of whatever right now, so just bare with me." It's BEAR with me. If I BARE with you, we're getting naked. I don't know if you've done it or not ... it's just my favorite misuse, so I thought I'd mention it. :) And yes, I did look at the other parts of your story notes. :P

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bobrgallegos

7:48PM | Wed, 07 January 2015

A great outline for Your story line!!

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Windigo

12:03AM | Thu, 08 January 2015

So, what was the missppellead worrd ? :) Don't be wolfish about it, now! :)

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jocko500

12:10AM | Fri, 09 January 2015

wonderful work. got to have notes with all these writings of yours

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Roco43

4:47PM | Fri, 09 January 2015

Nice capture.

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Darkwish

12:10PM | Wed, 14 January 2015

Great idea, very well done!


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Photograph Details
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MakeCanon
ModelCanon EOS REBEL T3
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ISO Speed100
Focal Length43

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