Bomaw: Email to Ben... From: Crysbell To: 1/4lb-BigMac@yahoo.com Hi - I - well... Hmmm, I've been dying to write you all day, and now that I'm here at school to do so, I feel stuck - I know what I want to say, but I fear saying it - because so much has changed between us now. I suppose first order should be, how are you? You enjoying California without us there? We saw that beautiful place together for the first time, remember? Didn't we have fun Ben, all the walks - the talks - the time we spent together really getting to know one another. The Ball, oh Ben, remember the ball? I do, I think about it all the time - I escape back to that night, often. I miss that. I feel guilty Ben, I feel as though I've chased you away from the family - our family. Dad misses you, my step-father, your father. Your dad2, Jake, misses you - your uncle - and your father misses you, Quinton, dad3 - that still makes me smile. Your mom was here at the house just a few days ago, because my mom threw a Pampered Chef party, it was great! We all had a really nice time, Vivian, Shanna, your mom, your grandmother Gert, Sheila, mama Jojo and even Vivian's sister Lacy drove up for it, and a few women from around town. They were especially excited to be invited, dying to get inside mama's house to see it. You should have been here. Dad, Shawn - his studio is booking already, and your office sits empty - I find myself, slipping off into it, just to see it, and imagine you there. You should be here. My heart, hurts... my stomach hurts... my mind spins... my world is dark... and I smile, laugh, and carry on as if nothing is wrong. But they all know, something's wrong... because you see, I cut my hair... I stood in the mirror one morning, getting ready for school, needing to blow dry it and get moving, and all of a sudden, I was cutting it, I couldn't stop. Victor and I argued about it, he doesn't like it - as if I care. It's really short now. You should be here Ben... you should be here. The boys miss you so much, they keep asking everyone, where's Ben? When is he coming back? No one knows what to say to them, especially Isaac - he feels as if you've left him - deserted him. I know how he feels. YES! I'm laying a guilt trip on you! Okay... YES - I am! We need you Ben, you are a part of this family and we need you! I need you - you were the best friend... I have ever had - no one knows me, like you. I love you - and I'm so very sorry, that I hurt you. Come home Ben, come home... you don't belong there in California, by yourself, you belong here, where all the people you need - miss you, love you - worry about you. Come home... Crystal Bella =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Bleak Days... =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Credits... V4 complete Nhu for V4 by Beautiful World by Terry Berry & Tony Puryear @ Daz3d Estio Hair from AprilYSH @ Daz3d Cosmopolitan Girl Casuals by WillDupre & MAB @ Daz3d greenpots Library