The Chimera by Chipka
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No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
Exeter Carbuncle VIII was in a foul mood.
He greeted me kindly enough, declaring that he could afford a break, and that he needed "normal" company. It was late, after all, and those employed as gothic ornaments are—by Gothic Architecture Law—allowed breaks from midnight to 4-a.m. Exeter (and by extension) the other chimeras employed as ornaments on the façade of Saint Ita’s were stuck in place, however. I was not the only visitor to the Church. I was accompanied (albeit accidentally) by another photographer. A tourist.
“Look at her!” Exeter exclaimed with derision and distaste. “She thpoke to me, thaid I wath a cute gargoyle and then athked me to pothe for one of her dumb pictur'th.” He shuddered on his pedestal, and somewhere inside the structure of the church itself, his wings fluttered and stretched—as only multidimensional geobiological wings might. He was obviously disturbed.
“Did you tell her you aren’t a gargoyle?” I asked. It is, after all, a common mistake for human biologicals to mistake one geo-species for another. Exeter, acted as if he’d just been called a cherub.
“Yeth, I told her!”
“And did she correct her mistake?”
“No!” he exclaimed again. “The dummy thaid theee couldn’t understand my lithp.”
Ouch! Bad move! Never tell a chimera (especially a venerable one) that he lisps. I cringed, though I felt myself unsure if the cringe was in sympathy with Exeter’s ill ease, or the tongue-lashing the tourist woman undoubtedly received.
“I don’t have a lithp,” Exeter said, with a clear note of wounded pride. “I have a beak and fangth. Ther’th a differenth!” And somewhere in the lull after his declaration, he muttered beneath his breath: “Th’tupid floothie. I hate flootheeth.”
Among Chimeras, “floozie” is the ultimate insult. From what I can gather, the term doesn’t translate directly into any known human language, but in Chimeran it is rife with implications that the recipient of the term is an individual of poor morals and prone to the unfortunate (and lurid) predisposition to mate out of season. Mating out of season is a waste of time. Chimeras are nothing, if not efficient. Time-wasting is akin to…well, admittedly…I don’t know what it’s akin to in human terms, but it’s bad…very bad. So bad, it’s nasty. I’ve seen chimeras thrown into violent spells of flatulence at the mere thought of wasting time. Exeter, in his anger and his revulsion to the she-tourist was (to put it bluntly) in his own fit of enthusiastic intestinal venting.
In an attempt to calm my friend’s distress, I approached the woman in question and asked her if she was interested in other creatures employed as gothic ornaments. She informed me that she was, and so I directed her to a church halfway across the city. I described its gothic details as luridly as I could, and she received my suggestion to visit the church with unabashed glee. She left, quickly, thanking me for my suggestion.
When I returned to my conversation with Exeter, he asked me what I’d told her.
“I directed her to Our Lady of the Perpetual Cliché,” I said.
And Exeter broke into a rather brutal display of his fangs. Chimeras gape rather than grin, as beaks and fangs make it impossible for them to mimic human expressions which--as we all know--depend on flexible, soft lips. From somewhere deep within his throat, he giggled.
“Oooh…you’re mean!” he said, with obvious approval.
Our Lady of the Perpetual Cliché is encrusted with true gargoyles and a number of grotesques as well. They’re all sourpusses, or as Exeter would call them, “thourputheth.”
***
As always, thank you for viewing and reading and commenting. Hopefully you're all having a great week.
Comments (22)
LOL! What a wonderful Chiplet...I hope you include it in your book :)
Beautiful image and story!
That is a great story Chip and I love the picture ! I will be careful taking directions from you in the future ;) I have my copy of Borges Labyrinths in front of me and I can't wait to dive in. Hope you had a good hunt for books in snowy and cold Chicago.
"Chiplet"! I love it. We have a new term on the site. The image is stunning on its own. And the story is great as well.
I must start with the image which is marvelous! I will call Exeter by his name throughout so as not to incur his wrath. Wonderful capture of Exeter! I love the way his claws are curled onto the stone. He seems to be ready to hurl himself down on some misinformed tourist. Being unable to do so, naturally his expression is a bit fierce. I love the light and dark of this image! The structure Exeter is on top of rises like a smooth pyramid in lit splendor, drawing attention to Exeter. The black sky emphasises the deep shadows throughout the image. The space below the ragged arches, is dark and foreboding. Wonderful mood and presence! The narrative! Absolutely wonderful! Not only called a gargoyle, but a CUTE gargoyle! Poor Exeter! No wonder he was out of sorts! I loved this from start to finish! Wonderful throughout and so many gems within! "Our Lady of Perpetual Cliché", “thourputheth”, and the difference between a "lithp" and "a beak and fangth" to name just a few. This is a definite fav!
Super POV Chip and just wonderful narrative. More stories about Exeter would be fun, lithp and all. Dana
I like the angle that you used here my friend. Outstanding storyline my friend.
A gilded sight! I love the richness and the pov.
He does look as if he could drop down on some unsuspecting human at any moment. You say he's stuck up there? No wonder they always look so annoyed. Does PETA know about these guys? And what's the deal with that other guy off to his right. He looks like he's laughing. Really excellent composition and lighting. Well done.
Ha - superb... I like what Denise is calling this - A Chiplet!!! Well, a wonderful Chiplet with a perfect accompanying image! Well done indeed! :)
LOL! What a marvellous story. And so funny too. Wonderful and very fitting image too :-D
great photo and as always your words are as thay should be.
Amusing story and great image.
I love the photograph -- you are SO good at night shots! The pov is perfect, of course, since this would be exactly where one would stand in order to chat with Exeter. Multidimensional ... I like that! Very Mieville. :)
You are so great at taking night shots and then turning them into more with your stories. This is a great all around presentation. Awesome.
When I thaw thith, I knew right away it wath Exeter. I met him onth, he and I thpoke of all kindth of thingth. I liked him right away, and watched him tell thoth thtupid tourithtths where to go and what to do with variouth partth of their anatomy. He'tha cute little guy, though I'll never tell him that'--I'd get that full forthe of his flatulent rethponthe!!
cool pov
Interesting photo!
LOL. I love the story :) I love the photo too, I really like that bit of angle you added to your composition.
I have to say that the photo if exquisite - dare I say awesome. The sodium glow of the street lights make Exeter truly other worldly. And the fact that we have to always 'look up to him' as if in worship must please his Chimera ego. I wonder how well Exeter gets along with cats? The narrative really brings this creature with all his proud paradoxes (wasting time?) to life. You shall have to visit him again some time.
Hilarious and Inspired! I shall never look at these in the same way again.
That’s an absolutely stunning image !!! 5***** Hugs Karin :)