We all tend to do that sometimes don't we??? I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and caring thoughts while we carried ourselves through this difficult time of losing Mom....You are angels and I love each and everyone one of you!!! I wrote this for another site and I think it will fill you in ..... Been awhile since I have entered anything here , it has been such a hard time for me and I am finding it difficult to cope . I lost my Mother on June 5th, she passed away quietly with all of her family and friends that loved her dearly by her side. We found out that she had cancer on Good Friday...she had breast cancer and didn't want to let anyone know( the older folk would rather think I guess if they ignored it, it just might go away) . And as they did a scan looking for other signs of cancer they fould a large mass ( 17cm) on her ovary.( The Doctors said it was not related to the cancer in her breast)...SO they thought they should take the larger of the 2 out here in Halifax, cause was a high risk patient (her age and diabeties) they were more equipped to handle a case like that here more than in Cape Breton...Yeah right! It took 2 hours and she came out of surgery with flying colors....everything was wonderful, she was well on her way to recovery when all of a sudden she started reatining fluid and her heart was racing.....this went on for several days and nothing was really done for her other than giving her pain killers and trying to " make her comfortable". Meanwhile this angel of a nurse was watching this happen to her and went over her boundries to tell the doctor that she needs some fluid medication and something to slow her heart down........She recieved the meds and started looking well again......... But the STOPPED the meds once more and it happened again.....this was hard on her heart..She wanted to return home to Glace Bay and be there with the rest of the family and just be "home ", I think she knew really! On the way to Glace Bay from here where I live now-Distance 454 kilometres (282 miles) and she took another attack where - nothing done again - Just drugs ( which her kidneys weren't filtering it out ( hence the fluid retention)- when my sister and brothers got to the hospital there with the ambulance and her- there was one file (no chart with anything about her or what was going on ) and the note was....Do not reccessitate!!!! Can you Imagine!!!!! She had a few bad days after that her heart couldn't take anymore......we took the 6 hour trip to be by her side and just made it.....I said goodbye to a friend and the best Mother anyone would ever have on Friday, June 5th....she waited for me, my husband and daughter to get there and we just made it.....she took her last breath just about a half hour later...and left us... I can't believe that she won't be here anymore to laugh and carry on- just to call her and say hi Mom how are you and such...... I beleive that the Doctor's here did a lousy job at takeing care of our Mom- if it wasn't for the doctors here and the lack of knowledge ....I am sure she still would be here with us today!!! They destroyed her heart ( which was normal and working fine prior to the surgery) and they also tore mine appart!!!!! I love you Mom and will always miss you... You're with Dad now Rest in Peace Anne PS Found out the results of the report on the tumor on her ovary..IT WASN"T CANCER!!! So if that was left there for years...she would have had her breast off there and wouldn't be dead now....what can you do???....nothing really - just be thankful that Mom never suffered....