~Staying Safe In His Hands~ by originalkitten
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No AI - This artwork was created entirely by hand or with traditional digital tools.
Description
Today, you would have had your first birthday,
child I never knew,
child I never bore.
Small daughter dead,
small mass that had not yet grown hair,
small particle of life
with tiny lips that never touched my breasts
and tiny feet that never learned to walk:
your heartbeat ceased at my command.
And yet your heart has never ceased its beating:
pulsing in an air you never breathed
against a skin you have never touched.
I will never silence you with candy
or come with light to frighten off your ghosts
or hold you tight through noisy thunder storms;
and yet I hear you calling in the wind
and feel your ghost in darkness of the night
and shiver for you when the lightning strikes.
I chose your death deliberately.
Yet trust me when I say
there was nothing deliberate in my choice at all,
only a passion of terror and desire
for that innocence of life
I yearned for before you were conceived.
That innocence is gone forever now,
replaced with something darker than your birth.
I, who would have stayed forever spotless,
made a choice that stains my soul forever.
Believe me, little one who never breathed,
little one I wanted to love,
believe me, child who plays in deathless fields;
believe me, you who never touched my breasts
and never brought a smile unto my lips:
I love you day by day and year by year.
You keep on growing inside my heart and soul.
And I have learned through all these days and nights
my grief for you is heavy as the years.
by Sondra Ball. (some words changed slightly)
(for those who have no idea....it was for health reasons. I'd be dead if I hadn't)
~~
What keeps me going is she's happy and safe in his hands.
~~~
Tis also my 10 year olds birthday today but he's on vacation with an organisation that takes kids who help care for sick parents away for a few days. I miss him like crazy but hope he's having a blast.
First picture I did for her is here http://www.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/index.php?image_id=1408982
Comments (28)
Awwww Lou, this is just so beautiful.
I know your pain as I lost a 2 year old daughter
BIG HUGSSS.... nice image.. Sorry to learn ofr your loss.
Ah Lou you really have had a rough time, but keep your chin up chuck. xox
Babe? You know I care for you. I'm always here for you. A beautiful picture. Made from the heart with love. Bless you. Thinking of you, Rob.
Very sweet image ... sooo sorry ... Loss of a child is the most painful thing.
Oh this is just beautiful.. Sending gentle hugs..
Oh my you made me weep.
such a beautiful piece :) i'm happy to know I'm in God's hands just like her in the picture :)
Very beautiful...........
Beautiful and creative Hig Key......!!!!!
Oh my my my my my - that was so stirring, I could not but read on to the next line and then the next! While this might be misunderstood by some, your heartache, struggle and pain, strengthens my faith in womenkind, that there are still some of us, who love our children to the depths of our souls, as you did this little one and it shows! Outstanding image to depict the hands she now lies in, have peace within yourself - were a better choice available, you would have taken it, I can see it and feel it in your words! Bless you...
Beautiful tribute to Arial, Lou. Thinking of you :)
Hello my dear friend Louise, WOOW!!BEATIFULL TRIBUTE!! This is a fantastic, surprising work, of very good quality. Gives a lot of flavor to enter to your gallery and to enjoy so much beauty! Congratulations!! A million stars************ thank you so much for your comments and enjoys a pretty weekend. luminous Blessings. Ludy
Very cute work!
Beautiful Work!
Beautiful!!!!
Wow..I have 4 children..my youngest surprise is sleeping on my lap as I type..this made me look at her and give her extra hugs and kisses. I could not imagine my life without any of my babies..I cannot imagine your grief and I am sorry for such a great loss..
Elle est adorable!!!!!!
Very heartfelt.
Very beautiful...
very sweet
This image is one of few that actually pulled at the old heart strings. Great image. I like it very very much.
Fantastic.
So cute Louise. Hugs!
Oh this is so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes Cathy xoxoxo
Very beautiful soft effect and composition, splendid colours, creation and nice words !!! 5+++++++++ :-) Hugs, dear Louise :):):)
Sweet render...Hugs