Cal F. Ornia gave up acting after his movie debut, "Bye Bye Bonzo," had abyssmal box office numbers. He stayed in Hollywood, however, and had a long, fruitful career as a tanning coach. He was recently approached to play the role of the stepfather in the new movie, "Diary of a Mad Black Elf." He seemed interested at first, but when he discovered that the role of his 19-year-old stepdaughter had already been given to someone named Yade Sidhe, he ran for the hills. Cal has not been heard from since. ---- I have the vague feeling that this page may offend some people. I am sorry if it does! Please take it in the spirit in which it's intended, that is, that Cal would say anything to get out of a date with a supernatural being. Imagine he's saying "I don't feel comfortable dating someone who keeps cobras for pets" or something. This references the "other story" in the parallel universe. In it, Yade is supposed to become a nun but is rejected by the church for using the Book of the Banshee to save a priest's life. (Of course, it doesn't help that she's also a little too interested in boys.) More on that another day.