Conrad, Doug Conrad By: Counterboy The name, is Conrad, Doug Conrad. I, am a detective. The dame behind me is just that, a dame. She walks up to me on the street, demanding I take her case, she was kinda cute and I thought I might some nookie, (which doesn't happen very often on account of the baldness) so I took the case. "Help!" She had cried, "Please help! Some filthy bandit has stolen my purse!" I figured to find this dog, I would have to think like a dog myself, I thought pretending to pee on the hydrant might help, it didn't. Turns out it wasn't the same dog I was thinking of, but that's not the point. What is though, is that I was going to have a long night ahead of me. A long, long night. The kind dog biscuits wouldn't help (oh, still the wrong kind of dog, dang).