Wake the D.E.A.D. It comes once a year (it's not nearly enough!) I count the the days, and boy it's rough! To the end of October, so near, so far Now Halloween, here you are! Oh Halloween, my favorite festivity so unlike other holidays with their fluffy activity! Bunnies and Eggs, I can't adore For they can't compare with bats and gore! And Xmas too, it is not for me I'd rather my treats hung from a Pumpkin Tree! Give me your ghosts and give me your ghouls (I don't need Santa and all of his rules!) Give me your night until it dawns (And a costume topped with enormous horns!) For I love the Trickin' and a Treatin' But most of all, I love the Eatin'! These days they call sugar a "sometimes food" They say it causes diabetes and excites the mood! But Sugar is King on this, the darkest of days Kids eat all they want (so what if their pancreas pays?) Halloween, Oh Halloween, it's the day of abandon so load up your treats on the back of a wagon! But I have something special hidden up my sleeve A way of getting candies you wouldn't believe! I found it in a book, in a mysterious store A store that isn't now where it was before! It told of a Creature, well a Robot really Sitting on a hill, not dead but nearly... It can be woken, but only once a year If you set off an Alarm Clock close to it's ear! So I'll climb the hill with my horns and clock I'll find that robot (not dead but nearly) sat upon his rock! The alarm set to twelve and my pancreas set for Stun (Oh the candies I'll have by the rise of the Sun!) On the chime of midnight the great toy will rise Loud clankings in it's belly, burning lights in it's eyes! And down to the suburbs it will go, on it's big metal feet To fetch me ALL the candies and every last treat! Oh, the adults will be frightened and the kids will be annoyed But nothing will stop my Delicious Eatibles Aquisition Droid! No one will stay it (it's way too big) And I'll dance on the hill and squeal like a pig! For pig-out I will, when it brings home the bacon Gobbling those candies, such a mess I'll be makin'! The 'Bot will wind down and the sun will come up but I'll continue to eat and I won't stop or give up! I'll eat so much candy that I'll burst at the seams And my guts will rain down on a chorus of screams! Or I'll make myself sick, and fall down flat But truth be told, I don't care about that! Should I get purple n' blotchy (or sweaty n' green) I would still be "That Boy who Won Halloween"! Happy Halloween Folks!