Remembering Digital-Lion, A Memorial by SaintFox

gToon · December 10, 2016 11:23 pm

Tags: artist, digital-lion, memorial, obituary, saintfox


Digital Lion

Digital-Lion, a Renderosity member/artist since 2005, has died. His partner, Meike (SaintFox), has written a memorial tribute to him. She asked that she be able to write it in German, which is her native language, and then have it translated to English. Thanks to wheatpenny, we were able to provide both versions for you. Our sincere condolences to SaintFox and Digital-Lion's family and friends.

Meike (SaintFox) Remembers Her Husband, Digital-Lion

I write these memories of our fifth wedding anniversary, the 6th of December. Even if we put off the wedding for many years the date was fixed from the beginning. Leo loved the Christmas season with its festivals and its mood, so it was only logical that we agreed to it on St. Nicholas's Day.

Leo was born in Berlin in 1958. He experienced the building of the wall as a small boy close up, and at that time took his leave of his grandmother, who lived on the other side of the Iron Curtain. And he was there when the wall fell again. Even though he left Berlin at the time, because it was too lively in the city, he always remained a typical Berliner, with a great heart and a big mouth.

As a young man he was a carpenter by trade, but his profession was not good enough. So he chose to study photography. But here the prospects for the future were too uncertain. So he finally became an optician. And he entered this profession: optics, spatial thinking, physical laws and fine mechanical work came close to his interests. He spent his free time on his motorcycle or on his boat.

He worked for several opticians and finally found his vocation in training opticians. Then the school where he was employed went bankrupt ...

And so Leo, the fighter came to the fore. He taught programming languages, deepened himself in computer technology and, as we became acquainted, into 3D programs. So we became the team known here. It was typical that he never saw himself as an artist but as a craftsman. He modeled, refined the textures, drew tattoos by hand, fixed seams, and worked on the subtleties of the materials. And besides all this, he was especially my "Bearded Muse". Intuitively and impressively he found in my pictures those little things, which by a tiny change, a different color, different light changed the result from "not bad ..." to "exactly so!" .

In March 2011, the first stroke occurred. It left him half-paralyzed, but the main thing for him was that he could still think and speak. This was the day when we decided to implement our marriage plans. Further studies revealed a heart defect. The left heart chamber was too large, so the blood thickened. From then on he had to take blood thinners. And from this point onwards, the possible danger of a new thrombus always hovered over us. We decided, however, to live instead of exposing ourselves to the threat of danger.

For Leo, this was the starting shot, fighting his way back into self-employment. He learned to walk again, after two weeks he carried his physiotherapist up the stairs in the hospital on his shoulders. There followed six weeks of rehab clinic and a goal: "I want to go back to handball and I want to go down the stairs to my seat unassisted."

And he reached that goal. He walked up the long stairs to the gym up to his place, right next to the gate, without any help whatsoever. Since he could no longer ride a motorcycle, he started with archery. He became the devoted uncle of our best friend's twins, last year then also Grandpa.

And then came the tiredness, last summer. Drugs were changed, a new thrombus formed in the heart, it was dissolved. Everything looked good again. The love for life came back, and a trip to visit his children and granddaughter in Norway was coming up.

Two days before the trip began, Leo, the night owl, suddenly stood there in the early evening and said he was unusually tired. And went to sleep. Only a few minutes after he had gone, I went to the bedroom, as usual, to take off his glasses-which he always forgot. This time he did not wake up and protest because he was still reading or watching the news on TV. This time he had fallen asleep forever. Without fear and pain. The fight was lost.

His death has left a gap in the lives of very many people. And yet something has remained, for he has made his friends, his family and me rich with his humor, his struggle for life, his vitality and his warmth, which spread immediately when he was near.

The only thing of importance, when we depart, will be the traces of love we have left behind. - Albert Schweitzer


Meike's (SaintFox) Original German Version:

Ich schreibe diese Erinnerungen an unserem fünften Hochzeitstag, dem 6. Dezember. Wenn wir uns auch mit der Hochzeit viele Jahre Zeit gelassen haben, das Datum stand von vornherein fest.

Leo liebte die Weihnachtszeit mit ihren Festen und ihrer Stimmung, und so war es nur logisch, dass wir uns am Nikolaustag das Ja-Wort gaben.

Leo wurde 1958 in Berlin geboren, er erlebte den Mauerbau als kleiner Junge hautnah mit und nahm damals für immer Abschied von der Großmutter, die auf der anderen Seite des Eisernen Vorhangs lebte. Und er war dabei, als die Mauer wieder fiel. Auch wenn er seinerzeit Berlin verließ, weil es ihm in der Stadt zu quirlig wurde - er blieb immer ein typischer Berliner, mit großem Herzen und großem Mundwerk.

Als junger Mann war sein Berufswunsch Schreiner, aber seinem Vater war dieser Beruf nicht gut genug. Also entschied er sich für eine Fotografenlehre. Doch hier waren dem Vater die Zukunftsaussichten zu unsicher. So wurde er schließlich Optiker. Und ging in diesem Beruf auf: Optik, räumliches Denken, die physikalischen Gesetze und die feinmechanische Arbeit kamen seinen Interessen nahe. Seine Freizeit verbrachte er wann immer möglich auf seinem Motorrad oder auf seinem Boot.

Er arbeitete bei unterschiedlichen Optikern und fand schließlich seine Berufung im Unterrichten angegehender Optiker-Meister. Dann ging die Schule, an der er angestellt war, in Konkurs...

...und so fand er sich plötzlich in der Position, für den Einsatz im Optikergeschäft zu alt zu sein. Die Inhaber wünschten sich junge, hippe Mitarbeiter. Zudem war er durch das Schleifen des Glases schwerhörig geworden und passte so gar nicht mehr in eine Welt, in der Jugendlichkeit wichtiger ist als Erfahrung.

Und so kam Leo, der Kämpfer zum Vorschein. Er erlente Programmiersprachen, vertiefte sich in Computertechnik und, als wir uns kennenlernten, in 3D-Programme. So wurde aus uns das hier bekannte Team. Typisch war, dass er sich nie als Künstler sah sondern als Handwerker. Er modellierte, er verfeinerte die Texturen, zeichnete Tattoos von Hand, versäuberte Säume und tüftelte an den Feinheiten der Materialien. Und neben alledem war er insbesondere meine "bärtige Muse". Intuitiv und treffsicher fand er in meinen Bildern jene Kleinigkeiten, die durch eine winzige Veränderung, eine andere Farbe, anderes Licht das Ergebnis von "Nicht schlecht..." zu "Genau so!" veränderten.

Im März 2011 traf ihn dann der erste Schlaganfall. Er ließ ihn halbseitig gelähmt zurück, die Hauptsache für ihn war jedoch, dass er noch denken und sprechen konnte. Dies war der Tag, an dem wir beschlossen, unsere Heiratspläne in die Tat umzusetzen. Weitere Untersuchungen ergaben einen Herzfehler. Die linke Herzkammer war zu groß, so dass das Blut darin sich verdickte. Ab nun musste er Blutverdünner nehmen. Und ab diesem Zeitpunkt schwebte eigentlich immer die mögliche Gefahr eines neuen Thrombus über uns. Wir entschieden uns jedoch, zu leben statt uns mehr als nötig mit der drohenden Gefahr auseinanderzusetzen.

Das widerum war für Leo der Startschuss, sich zurück in die Selbstständigkeit zu kämpfen. Er erlernte erneut das Gehen, nach zwei Wochen trug er seine Physiotherapeutin die Treppen im Krankenhaus auf den Schultern hoch. Es folgten sechs Wochen Reha-Klinik und ein Ziel: "Ich will wieder zum Handball gehen. Und ich will freihändig die Treppe zu meinem Platz hinuntergehen.".

Und er erreichte dieses Ziel. Aufrecht und ohne fremde Hilfe ging er die lange Treppe in die Sporthalle bis zu seinem Platz, direkt neben dem Tor. Da er nicht mehr Motorrad fahren konnte, begann er mit dem Bogenschießen. Er wurde der hingebungsvolle Onkel der Zwillinge unserer besten Freundin, im vergangenen Jahr dann auch Opa.

Und dann kam die Müdigkeit, im vergangenen Sommer. Medikamente wurden umgestellt, ein neuer Thrombus bildete sich im Herzen, er wurde aufgelöst. Alles sah wieder gut aus. Die Lebenslust kam zurück, eine Reise zu Kindern und Enkelin in Norwegen stand bevor.

Zwei Tage vor Antritt der Reise stand Leo, die Nachteule, plötzlich am frühen Abend da und sagte, dass er ungewöhnlich müde sei. Und ging schlafen. Nur wenige Minuten, nachdem er sich hingelegt hatte, ging ich wie immer ins Schlafzimmer, um ihm die Brille abzunehmen - was er stets vergaß. Diesmal wachte er nicht auf und protestierte, weil er noch lesen oder im Fernsehen die Nachrichten sehen wollte. Diesmal war er für immer eingeschlafen. Ohne Angst und Schmerz. Der Kampf war verloren.

Sein Tod hat eine Lücke in das Leben sehr vieler Menschen gerissen. Und doch ist etwas geblieben, denn er hat seine Freunde, seine Familie und mich reich gemacht. Mit seinem Humor, seinem Kampfeswillen, seiner Lebenslust und dieser Wärme, die sich sofort ausbreitete, wenn er in der Nähe war.

The only thing of importance, when we depart, will be the traces of love we have left behind. - Albert Schweitzer



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Article Comments


hmatienzo ( posted at 3:35AM Sun, 11 December 2016

still crying Ich kann gar nicht sagen, wie leid mir das tut... My prayers are with you.

ArtOfDreams ( posted at 3:48AM Sun, 11 December 2016

Ich bin noch immer sprachlos liebe Meike....es tut mir so unendlich leid!

shambleresp ( posted at 6:22AM Sun, 11 December 2016

I'm sorry for your loss.

luciferino ( posted at 12:53PM Sun, 11 December 2016

I'm very sorry for the loss of a so great man and artist. My deepest condolence to his family and friends.

Cimarron ( posted at 4:46PM Sun, 11 December 2016

Meike, I'm so sad to read Leo has passed. . The tribute is beautiful and indeed shows his great spirit and determination. My heart goes out to you Meike, Vale Leo.

DreamersWish ( posted at 5:14PM Sun, 11 December 2016

My heart goes out to you and your family. It is not easy, but your memorial to your husband was simply beautiful and heartfelt. My daughter and I will pray for strength and peace for your family. We can say we have been where you are. God bless you and your family.

quietrob ( posted at 7:34PM Sun, 11 December 2016

My prayers and condolences to you and your family. People see products and freebies but rarely do we know much about these people that we admire like Leo. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal insights. He was a fighter and an artist and so many things to so many people. I wish both peace to you and Leo.

Zexlanaur ( posted at 8:50PM Sun, 11 December 2016

Heartfelt condolences. You and he have produced some of my favorite products here over the years. He will be missed.

rbowen ( posted at 2:55AM Mon, 12 December 2016

I am very sorry for your loss. Your tribute was beautiful and moving. He will be with you always.

realfelsenstern ( posted at 3:00AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Mein tiefstes Beileid für deinen schweren Verlust und danke für diesen rührenden Einblick in Digital-Lion's Leben. Es tut mir besonders leid, dass ich ihn nicht zu Lebzeiten kennen gelernt habe, Renderosity ist so groß, dass ich nur langsam auf viele Künstler und Produkte treffe, jedesmal mit einem Aha-Erlebniss und manchmal auch mit Trauer.

DM ( posted at 3:02AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Mein herzlichstes Beileid für Dich und die Familie.

Mirabilis ( posted at 3:16AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Mein Beileid, von Herzen. Ich wünsche Dir viel Kraft. Aus eigener Erfahrung weiß ich: die Liebe bleibt.

ilona ( posted at 8:49AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Meike... I don't know what to day cause I still can't believe it. You two have always been special to me, for your example towards life and your amazing talent, but also because you two have always been kind and generous and genuinely good people in everyways. He will be missed Meike, and be sure that there are lots of people here who are thinking about you right now and your family. You have lived a fantastic life together , keep this memory with you forever and he will never be gone.

Pommerlis ( posted at 9:40AM Mon, 12 December 2016

I am so very sorry for your loss. Mein herzlichstes beileid.

Trifid ( posted at 11:17AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Dir und deiner Familie mein herzlichstes Beileid und Anteilnahme - Ich wünsche euch viel Kraft.

BluEcho ( posted at 11:24AM Mon, 12 December 2016

Leo was so kind and loved to help people, I will miss him greatly. When a group of us all worked together on a project for the Antonia Polygon figure and I hosted a site for her free items, it was he and Meike who gave me so much help. He designed and set it up and she created the graphics for it. Meike, my heart is sad and my sympathies are with you. We all lost a wonderful individual.

Anain ( posted at 2:35PM Mon, 12 December 2016

My prayers and condolences to you and your family

EportsCreations ( posted at 4:22PM Mon, 12 December 2016

"The Lion and the Fox" I will always remember Leo as the strong silent one. He was always there by your side and I think everyone here knew he was always beside you. Yes, for me, he will always be remembered as the lion. And in my future, there will always be "The Lion and the Fox". Mein herzlichstes beileid.

khornby ( posted at 5:17PM Mon, 12 December 2016

Tears in my eyes. I wish you my sincerest condolences. May his journey be filled with love and light and may the warmest of memories help ease your grief. Hugs, Kim

Pardon my German as I used Google translate:

Verzeihen Sie mein Deutsch wie ich Google übersetzen:

Tränen in meinen Augen. Ich wünsche Ihnen mein aufrichtiges Beileid. Möge seine Reise mit Liebe und Licht erfüllt sein und die wärmsten Erinnerungen helfen, Ihre Trauer zu lindern. Umarmungen, Kim

CynderBlueDesigns ( posted at 7:25PM Mon, 12 December 2016

Such a beautiful and moving tribute. My thoughts and heart are with you. Dx

ThunderStone ( posted at 1:33PM Tue, 13 December 2016

My condolences to you and your family. May he rest in peace.

mgtcs ( posted at 11:37PM Tue, 13 December 2016

My heart is with you and your family. This is very very sad.....

K_T_Ong ( posted at 3:29AM Wed, 14 December 2016

I don't know him, but I find it a regrettable loss all the same when a man of such heart and talent should depart before he's even sixty. Still, he at least went peacefully and without any pain. My condolences to all his loved ones.

RAGraphicDesign ( posted at 6:31AM Wed, 14 December 2016

I'm very sorry. I really liked that you have shared with us that your memory of him. A virtual hug.

Virtual_World ( posted at 1:27AM Thu, 15 December 2016

I am very sorry. My condolences.

UteBigSmile ( posted at 3:30AM Fri, 16 December 2016

My heartfelt Condolences - Mein Beileid von ganzem Herzen. Ich wünsche Dir viel Kraft. Aus eigener Erfahrung weiß ich: die Liebe bleibt auf Ewig...

Z-annex-tears.jpg

Bendinggrass ( posted at 9:32AM Fri, 16 December 2016

I am very sad and sorry for your heartbreaking loss. As I read over what you wrote, I liked Leo so much, I wished he had been and still was my dear friend. I will remember love and prayers for you and Leo, and those he loved and feel his loss.

moogieinspace ( posted at 6:13AM Thu, 22 December 2016

A beautiful soul has left our world,now dancing among the stars,you will be missed greatly sweetie,prayers and gentle cuddles for your family xxx

RGUS ( posted at 4:52PM Mon, 02 January 2017

Breaks my heart... over and over again.

renecyberdoc ( posted at 1:46AM Tue, 03 January 2017

in gedanken bei dir.