March's Artist of the Month - Legume

ClintH · March 3, 2002 11:02 am

Who is Legume? Good question. Since few of us can answer that question, I'll do the best I can and tell you who I THINK I am. I'm Joe Suburbanite, 38 years old, a former member of a notorious motorcycle gang that rode roughshod throughout southern New Jersey in the 1980s. I live in the Philadelphia area with my wife and three cuddly guinea pigs. I mow the lawn in my shorts and sandals all summer, and my neighbors don't have any idea that the polite shaven-headed man with the red Sears lawnmower is actually a high-ranking member of the Church of the SubGenius, a Texas-based UFO cult, as well as an outlaw 3D artist with a mind that's as twisted as Joe Theissmann's leg. I've always had an outrageous and weird sense of humor, but always thought that maybe I was just a lone freak in a small town. Then I discovered the SubGenius Foundation, and I realized that there was a huge underground network full of people who weren't "normal", and who weren't afraid to express that lack of normalcy to the world. From the SubGenius teachings, I learned it's OK to think differently, and in fact it may save your sanity. Everything I learned from them was true (except for the stuff that wasn't). Also, my association with the SubGenius Foundation exposed me to the artwork of several other SubGenii, such as Ivan Stang, Paul Mavrides, IMBJR and Atom Funway Plastico, who are all weirder than a pickle jar full of human thumbs. My art has been featured in the foundation's magazine, "The Stark Fist of Removal", and a gallery of my work can be found among the millions of tentacles that form the "Art Mines" at SubGenius Foundation. I guess that answers who I WAS more than who I AM, so I'd say the best answer to that question would be, "My name is Dr.Legume, and I'm Artist of the Month". Do I get a tiara and a sash? How long have you been doing 2D and 3D art work? I've been doing 2D artwork since I was a kid crudely doodling offensive sketches of my peers and teachers on lined note paper with a #2 pencil in art class instead of paying attention to my art teacher. If only I'd listened to her instead, I'd probably be creating lovely ashtrays out of clay instead of drawing pictures that 9 out of ten times led to my being pelted with rocks and cuss words on the playground by my schoolmates. Funny how some things never change. I've been creating 3D artwork since the day in 1998 I discovered that my pal and fellow UFO cultist Dr. F. Kenton Musgrave (now CEO of Pandromeda, makers of MojoWorld) worked for MetaCreations, and could hook me up with a free copy of Poser 3. Poser 3 really impressed me, having recently been exposed to the works of pin-up artist Mr.Neutron, who is now a member of the Poser newsgroup (alt.binaries.3d.poser) that I founded as a response to the then-rampant censorship practices in the Poser community. Using Poser 3, I was able to unleash the weird imagery that lives in my large, thick skull in ways that caught peoples' attention much more effectively than my crude drawings ever could. Jeez, I was lousy at drawing. If you saw my work, you'd swear I lacked opposable thumbs. When I see some of the fantastic work in the 2D gallery, I get envious as hell. What are you currently working on? I'm not currently working on any long term projects. I'm pretty prolific, sometimes cranking out two or three images per day. I'm so daggone prolific, I deserve Artist of the Month based on volume alone. I've cranked out about FIFTY new images in the last month, and I'm proud to say that almost every one of them either caused someone to laugh heartily or send me hate mail (I enjoy both thoroughly). I'd like to take a minute to thank my supporters, who have not only stood up and said in no uncertain terms that they support the expression of unorthodox ideas, but who have voted my images into an unprecedented FIFTEEN images out of the Poser Hot 20. You will be rewarded with a plethora of bunnies, armadillos, and stuff that you might never expect. I'd also like to thank my detractors; if you hadn't raised such a stink, most people would never have even looked at my stuff, let alone voted me Artist of the Month by such a huge margin. What software do you use and why? I use Poser 4, of course, and I use Bryce occasionally. I use Paintshop Pro 7, and my favorite plug-in filters are Xenofex and Alien Skin Eye Candy 4000. Alien Skin chose several of my images for their gallery at Alien Skin Software to show what their Eye Candy software is capable of doing. If I had to get by with only one graphics program forever, it'd be Paint Shop Pro. Why do you like 3D Art? I like 3D art because it brings the ability to create imagery to the those of us whose artistic expression gets crippled by crude hands between the phases of conception and execution. What inspires you? Everything inspires me. Love, hate, death, brilliance, and stupidity. War, peace, flowers, bunnies. Disease, starvation, sex, pork chops. What I see on the news, read in the newspapers, that's a huge source of subject matter for me, listening to what's said, thinking about what's NOT said. Examining a situation and analyzing the motives of the parties involved. Mostly, what inspires me is animals, including people. What they do and why, how they respond to situations and stimuli, unusual tribal rites and rituals, how they correlate to behaviors of people within my own culture, these things fascinate me. I once read "The Naked Ape" by zoologist Desmond Morris, and it changed my perceptions forever. The kinds of responses I get from my imagery, I can get those same responses from a person face to face with my ability to provide the correct stimuli, thanks to the knowledge I gleaned from Dr. Morris' book. I live to manipulate the perceptions and feelings of my fellow naked apes. The greatest thing a man can aspire to is to be a preacher. If you can communicate your ideas well, you can do ANYTHING. Visit Legume's Art Gallery here. Visit Legume's Artist Page here.

Article Comments

GROINGRINDER ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congratulations Legume!! It was only a matter of time.

DTHUREGRIF ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Aack! It's the millennium baby! Oh sorry, it's just you, Doc. There is a striking resemblance there. Were you ever abducted by aliens? Congratulations, Doc! You're art has made me laugh, made me uncomfortable, occasionally confused me AND made me think. You certainly deserve this award! Diane

Jan-Michael ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

I really don't care about your pictures... as I think bragging about 50 in a month..only speaks of the quality... what I find disgusting is that there are so many talented artists here... that really deserve this..but now it is just a joke and don't think anyone would want their name associated with it... thank God Renderosity isn't the only Digital Art board on the web...:)

SQS ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Enjoyed the interview, but not impressed by the galleries. I think you could do so much more than putting words together.

namja1955 ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congrats Legume. It's nice to see that you got at least two nice comments before the first disparaging remark. No doubt this section will turn into something like every other thread with you name on it. Long live Mr. Fluffers...

Poppi ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

50 in a month? I guess I don't have to ask about your "day job"..heh, heh. (Even if I didn't have my other "real" world concerns, truthfully, I could not put out 50 a month.) Okay...that said...I know there is a "more" to your plan. Care to share it? Now, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for kicking all the "wall-eyed vicki's in expensive temples" out of the hot 20. Next, I would like to cuss you to hell for taking all the spaces in the 20 that the vickis don't have anymore. Geeze...I will never make it. Perhaps, I will pull out my zbrush and give that gallery a shot. Last, but, definitely most important....I could not find a link for the armadillo. AND SINCE YOU PLAYED A ROLE IN THE DEMISE OF C&D, AS WELL.... could you please send it/her/him to me?

luke6666 ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

And long live the Magic Pink Pony. Congratulations Dr. Legume-someday you could quite possibly rule the known world.

gg77 ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congratulations Legume. It's no surprise that you won. A sense of humour is very welcome and Mr. Fluffers has been a hoot! Keep it funny!

Archangel_Gabriel ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Dull, yet unsuprisingly sophmoric.

lynde ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Well congrats I guess...I must say I had really hoped this honor would go to someone who had worked a little harder for it and showed more apparent talent though(Giana, LisaB, racin-jason, any of them I would have applauded genuinely as they really do have genuine talent)...but I guess I must keep in mind the point of Ironbear's article this week, if an artists intent is communicated effectively then technically it is art and since most of yours so clearly make us want to ventilate you with spears I can only assume that was your intent so I guess it is art after all. BTW, I do like Mr. Fluffers but I really DON"T like some of the things you have done with him and I do think your technique could improve(as could mine I guess I should add, although that is always my goal with my work). Melissa Ng

amokery ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

I am glad to see you're artist of the month. Art isn't always about looking pretty and it definitely should not be about shelling out pieces that will get the popular vote. I hope we continue to see your work here at

Fortyseven ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Well deserved. To hell with the lifeless naysayers.

violentsmile ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congrats Legume, not only have you managed to undermine the artistic merits of the many talented artists of this site you've also managed to make a complete mockery of the entire site. Bravo. If only I had your wisdom oh wise one, I could have saved myself the cost of a wacom.

chuckroast ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congrats Legume. You've worked long and hard to get this...Now what?

TwoBeans ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Ohh look, several violations of the TOS with the responses. Time to "warn" some people. Oh, and Legume is holding me hostage. Someone help me! I hear a zipper in the back room!

kjlintner ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Kudos to you, Dr. Legume. You deserve artist of the decade for the naked Hitler pic alone. I am definitely unhappy with those who choose to attack you in this area. Hail Bob!

xenu ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Dr. Legume has been an inspiration to me, and has made me wonder what Ed "Big Daddy" Roth would have done in the 3D world. Legume has succeeded against all odds, and despite the admonitions of the King of Prussia that if he can't stand the mustard to stay out of the ketchup.

Dragontales ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

God's amazing. You can even state it to them, yet they still don't get it. The more you people make a big stink over things like the MPP and so on, the more it will carry on. Every hear of "No such thing as bad publicity!"? The simple matter is, if you don't like it, don't view it.....and go away! Congratulations Legume! I don't always find your art to my liking (mostly I do though :)), but I'll support your right to create it, post it, and become AOM. Dragontales PS - To Jan-Michael -- AOM is not always about those that create the best art, but it IS for those who make the most IMPACT with their art. I'd say Legume made a crater here on renderosity!!

BladeWolf ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

Congrats Legume... least it wasn't an artist that puts nothing but naked babes with swords and crap. That to me is disgusting, and your images are refreshing from the same T&A that pollutes these galleries day, and day out. Thanks for giving us a good laugh and lightening our spirits in these dark times. Three Cheers! HIP HIP HORAY! I'd do more by my head is pounding thanks to a sinus migrane. LONG LIVE LEGUME!

dariop ( posted at 12:00AM Sun, 03 March 2002

I thought it strange that Dr Legume, with his stir it up style should so openly court the populist vote. A definition of irony perhaps.

mechmorph ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Put a fork in it, it's done.

Moonbiter ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Your head is somehow smaller than I imagined. I've hated some of your pictures and I've enjoyed others but regardless of the trolls, you do deserve the award. You've challenged many of us to actually think about some of the things we see daily. In this day and age that is a feat worthy of an award. Congrats.

strijdbijl ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Congratulations Legume. I once asked my art teacher what is art.?..what makes a true artist.? He said making people think,react,get mad,laugh. making something they would remember...if they saw it after a couple of years and think " oh yeah thats him/her. I think you`ve accomplished all the above and more. So with that said anyone who denies that your work is art is far from being an artist him of herself. I hope your going to be here for years to come. Anne-marie

Kiddego ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

LOL to funny LOL Well Legume you was right about one thing. for every rude comment someone makes you get 2 more votes for artist of the month just to spite us. you must be proud to earn artist of the month out of spite only. I would type more but I think Jan-Michael said it very well. So enjoy your spite award :-)

AHS ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Legume, you and your followers sorrowfully misunderstand the case against you. It is not a matter of what this community considers art, and what isn't. It is not a matter of weather your work is art or not. Anyone can scribble on a piece of paper and call it art, and no one can build a case against it simply because art is subjective. You have a right to create artwork and post it here, and no one has the right to tell you that your work isn't "Real Art". -However- What people here have against you is the fact that you are being considered Artist of the Month for this entire community - an award which you are obviously not qualified to hold when your work is compared to the work of the hundreds of other more deserving artists here. Artists who work hard to MODEL, TEXTURE, LIGHT, and Animate their images meticulously to create their vision of art. Artists who go against the naked-chick-in-a-castle trends, and barely get recognition for their HARD WORK. Artists which deserve their recognition, but are instead pushed aside by the recognition your lax attitude towards your own work receives. You seem to be an intelligent person, and I think that you honestly know deep down that there are others more deserving of this award than you. And all of you members that have supported him, also know deep down that there are more deserving artists here as well. As to why you have received so much praise, I can only begin to fathom, but then again, your quote said it best Legume; You know how stupid the average person is?... Artist of the Month has now officially lost all meaning it had once had. It is no longer something to strive for, but something to point and laugh at on your way to the galleries. AHS

Skygirl ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Congrats Legume ! If you think this is great, I can assure you I think its twice as great ! :-)

Bullfrog007 ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Congratulations Doc! Keep up the great (but at times controvertial) work!

KateTheShrew ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

You, Doc, are what my late lamented grandmother would call an instigator. Your art always makes me stop and think, and ponder and quite often spit coffee on my computer or out my nose. Keep up the good work!!

cloudedInMystery ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Your art is somewhat funny, but the quality is very poor and doesn't show much artistic ability on your part. I'm sure the next artist of the month will be a retarded, blind chimp that draws squiggles with a red crayon. This is the way Renderosity is heading, so I wouldn't be surprised if this happens.

OrchidDave ( posted at 12:00AM Mon, 04 March 2002

Congrats Legume! You deserve it! Keep cranking those images out! Dave'O