Bobby and Huror, Episode 35 by Wolfenshire ()
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Kaelstai Tenikes (First Year Junior Grackle News Academy student/anchor): What is this image on the green screen? Is that Jon Black, Public Enemy Number One? Are we doing a piece on Jon Black? Is a tentacle sea monster attacking Darai? Come on, guys, can we get a relevant image up here, and why isn’t the rest of the green screen working?
Grackle fx student: I don’t know, the controls here are different than in the classroom.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Are you seriously eating potato chips?
Saemai Comaer (First Year Co-Grackle News Academy student/anchor): I’m hungry.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Can someone get the mics out of the camera shot?
Grackle audio student: I don’t think they’re showing.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Oh come on, I can see them on the monitor, are you blind?
Grackle audio student: Oh yeah, I didn’t see that, I’ll adjust them.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Its amateur hour around here, come on, we practiced this in class, and can someone get me something to sit on; a pillow or a book, I can barely see over the desk.
Grackle production student: Hey, I think we’re broadcasting live.
Kaelstai Tenikes: What do you mean you think we’re broadcasting!
Grackle production student: The little green light is on that says we have a live feed.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Can we look any lamer than this? Does someone want to run naked across the stage next?
Grackle production student: Just start the news broadcast.
Kaelstai Tenikes: I’m Kaelstai Tenikes, your new Senior Anchor for the news. My father, Umae Tenikes, the normal Senior Anchor is a Reserve Gunnery Officer and has been called to active duty aboard the Grackle Battleship, Truth Seeker, as has most of the adult Grackle News Staff.
Saemai Comaer: The Fourth Year Academy students will be joining the Battleship also as Junior Officers, and the Third Years are currently installing a relay news system to assist the Ground Forces in the coming battle.
Kaelstai Tenikes: That’s right, Saemai, and the Second Years are delivering the emergency transistor radios to as many citizens as possible. If you have not received your transistor radio, the Second Years will be placing a box of them at every exit along Inter-Province Highway 5.
Grackle production student: Guys, hold up… breaking news… oh my Goddess…
Kaelstai Tenikes: We’re in the middle of a broadcast, you’re supposed to tell me any breaking news in my ear piece, not run out on stage.
Grackle production student: The Cettise dropped into normal space right on top of the Fourth Wave; they were still in their staging area… I’ve got reports coming in… Raven Carrier destroyed, Cassowary Carrier destroyed… most of the Splinter Fighters are destroyed… it’s a blood bath.
Kaelstai Tenikes: Okay, everyone stay calm, my father told me what to do if the Cettise got past the Fourth Wave. Darai Citizens, this is Kaelstai Tenikes and I will read the instructions my father left me. ‘Cettise forces will be engaging the Moon Bases within the next several hours, the Fifth Wave is now ordered to launch into orbit and prepare to defend the planet. All citizens not involved directly in the ground defense are ordered to evacuate the cities. You are to take shelter in the old tunnels used during the ‘Time the Sky Fell’. Goddess Bless each one of you.’
Saemai Comaer: Kaelstai, and what about us?
Kaelstai Tenikes: Okay, pack up, guys. We’ll take the mobile news vans and head up to the mountains. Citizens of Darai, this is Kaelstai Tenikes, and this will be the last video Grackle broadcast. The Cettise will be within missile range soon and this building will be the first thing they destroy. However, we, the First Year Grackle Academy students, will not abandon you. We will broadcast for thirty seconds every hour from the mountains over the transistor radios that are being passed out. Good luck, Citizens of Darai. This is Kaelstai Tenikes, signing off from the Grackle News Headquarters.