A Futuristic Poppy, Popping Up ;-) by dochtersions ()
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Hi dear friends,
First of all, my apologies for my absence in your galleries.
Here just, a hopefully short explanation. ;-)
Since I'm in treatment with Mieke, I can no longer deny "the things" , like f.e. all the brainwashing.
I have to take myself and all of my physical complaints seriously now, as arising indeed / having a connection in the past.
This implies that all extreme pains, plus the anxiety attacks are more present (at all times).
According to Mieke, I have been exhausted for a long time, because I keep trying to suppress everything.
Also by fleeing in my hobbies, or whatever on an extreme way.
Because of my still injured wrist, and also a 2nd fall, I can't go on the run, because biking isn't easy this way.
I think this is a kind of good, I need to change my behaviour.
It's a matter of persevering, keeping courage, and praying for strength.
Of course, Karel is a great support,
Mieke is unfortunately quite a while on holiday, but she is very good at her profession.
So, keep smiling :D.
With love to all of you. :)
This a macro shot I made from the inside part of one of our Poppy flowers, "messing around" with it, as you can see. lol.
Image Comments (15)
I think if you are strong enough to have lived with pain for so long, and have had the strength for suppression for so long, you will have the strength to work through trauma without folding. I have a friend who describes suppression as something like being in a swimming pool with several beach balls and trying to hold all the beach balls under the water. You can do it for a while, but eventually you will lose your grip on one of them, and they'll all start to pop back up to the surface. Life is so much easier when you don't have to worry about all those things that you are holding down below the surface of your conscious mind. I believe you can do this, and that you will be successful! You are a strong and brave and loving woman, and I have faith in your good heart. May your inner journey be one of discovery and healing. I think you are much like this picture, dear friend. You have dark and bright parts within you, but overall, your soul sparkles like the stars.
Beautiful & unique work. Good luck with your life challenges. I still have to deal with daily nerve pain from surgery I had six years ago & I know it can be frustrating & debilitating. I've found that maintaining a healthy level of mental, physical & social activity, along with getting enough rest, seems to work best for me,
I thought I'd reply to this in my reply to your letter...but I haven't written many letters in the last 2 months, because I've been so tired (and my letters sound like babbling, half the time). (I'll write back when I step away from RR again.) But I do understand what you've written about, here. It's exhausting to carry pain, even if it's conscious; it's harder to carry it if it's unconscious. The pain of the past is a huge 'presence' inside of us; and it's like walking through life, every day, with 30 heavy suitcases. You always have them, and you don't always think about them; but, one day, when you put them down, you suddenly realize how many burdens you've carried all your life. And, when your past is intense, it's an even greater burden. Therapy is wonderful, but it also brings up a lot of pain. I know that from the times I was in therapy. One has to live through that pain, while one gets rid of it. I'm not surprised your very tired these days. And your injuries don't make it any better.
(I was actually surprised that you commented on some of my writing, in my gallery: I never expect you to, but the fact that you did shows that you must have gotten some extra energy. My writing isn't easy-reading, and you're reading in a 2d or 3d or 4th language. I greatly appreciated that. But I know you're exhausted, and I don't expect it, believe me.) (Re whether English is your 2d language: I assume Deutsch comes way before English, in your experience. It certainly has more in common with Dutch than with English.) (Engels?)
But, as you see, your supporters here have great love for you and what you share, and they understand your on-and-off appearances here, entirely. (As do I.) I just wish you great healing, and the slow emergence into bathing light. Not that you don't have bathing light inside you---you do, in great quantity. But the wish is that you feel it around you, and everywhere. I wish for that deeply. I'm sorry it's been such a long struggle for you.
Your image is a big cosmic flower, bursting in the night, like fireworks. And you have lots of tiny lights everywhere too---like a million stars. If I looked out my window and I saw this, I'd feel really blessed by it---even though I'd be frightened that there was a 90,000,000 ton flower out my window, lol. But your art---even when it has darkness---always has great light. Which means that you find light in all things. A beautiful, big and dazzling version of a poppy. Quite stunning, Jacomina.