lalverson's Blog

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9:22 am

 Always amazed at what hate can do..
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Like everyone else in the US what happened at viginia Tech has been on my mind. Like so many I have darn near gorged myself on ever lurid detail and every new item that comes to the ever intense spotlight of true that is CNN.

I see that they are already laying down the ground ideas of who to blame and what to chastise that could have stopped this horrible event and saved so many, including the shooter himself.

But sadly, at least to me. Hate, like life will find a way to break out of the box we try in vain to restrain. The shooter was so ful of hate and loathing that I doubt anything could been done to stop what he did. I haven't seen this video of his but I read the one act plays he wrote.

They were complete 100% HATE in concentrate. We will never know what made him this way, and what ultimatly gave him the idea that that day he would right in blood, signed in the end with his own.

Personally, I think it is all the crap we hold in. All the embarassment, resentment, failures, and attempting to play by the rules of others that never stay the same. The double standards of conduct, the cultural Isolation. The loss of any real constant. Even religion cannot seems to decide what direction to go.

Thankfully, most of the world can keep a good reign on those feelings and thoughts. We all go about our day with the faith that somehow, some way we will make it to the end of day. where we can be at home or someplace where we can relax and dream of better times.

But a small number of people are not so lucky. thier grip on thier demons are not as good. for as we all know too well, those demons never sleep. they wait in the shadows and look for the times you are at your weakest then strike. and for those, and I suppose for the VT shooter. when they did, they took him and let him think everything they were telling him was true.

And the hate was released. and very tragically, too many had to pay the price. From the direct victims to all the people that loved them and cared for them, just just as a freind. they all have picked up a new demon. One that says when you are mad at the world, you can get even.

I have faith that the survivors and freinds and family will cage this demon and keep it silent. and they will cellibrate the lives of those that were taken, and keep them in thier hearts and memories forever. But still remembering that hate can and will reach out and strike, and there is little to do about it except to live the lives they have been given, and live for those who were killed. And hope that they can make it thru the day a little better than the last.

I also hope that should your demons be tempting you, and it almost seems like a good idea to follow thier lead that you remember, that there are people that do care and people that will listen and can help you keep your demons at bay.


9:54 am

 The light at the end of the tunnel...
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Been up to my lower lip in trials and tribulations. Been able to post so work, just not here. Mostly due to the ever changing rules here for images. I miss the old site, the old site was a haven for experimental art and art with edge. Artists were allowed be political, saterical or just rage againt thier plight. But those days are gone, life and this site have moved on.

In my real world life is tenious at best. If not for a freind I would not be able to go to work. If not for Jayme we wouold be without even more, her ability to strike a deal with all the horde we/I owe. It hurts that jayme and I and our son have to go thru all this. Thankfully I have my faith, and the love of my life to keep me going.

But in some ways things are a bit better. From local freinds to freinds far away. Thanks to them I can keep working, and getting back Mine and Jayme's website back. Not that is makes money of any kind but it gives us an outlet to post.

I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot help but wonder if it is an oncoming train.


12:27 pm

 Re-awakening from a long sleep
 2 comment(s)

Never have blogged before so I have no real idea what to write about. I understand that a blogg is kinda an on-line journal. I've been away from here for a long while and doing next to nothing in the way of art. Been battleing a few things depression, work, the caos of home and last but not least a possible mild heart attack.

One would think that would bring out many images about how i feel and my perception of things going on around me but, sad to say, that is not what happened. Then to top things off, as if that above was not enough, My computer and poser decided they were not going to work.

So, I did my clean install and redid poeser, went on a fat free diet and switched to decaf(that really sucks) and curbed my smoking and attempting to quit(far harder than anything) and attempting to to awaken the muse to make some art.

I post more stuff here but the regulations and rules and tos and the way rendo has changed over the years has left me posting less and less yet still i try to create images that are up to my artistic standard and worth looking at...

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