TooL_PePe's Blog

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6:20 pm

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Recognize that? I have no doubt that most people have experienced these emails that exemplify the usefulness of the digital age. I personally am blessed with receiving anywhere from 4-6 of those a day between my work, and my two personal accounts. I actually have three personal email accounts, but one is for spam only so that one doesn’t count.

I get disappointed when I only see one or two “FW’s”, as that means that the chain hasn’t been around enough to warrant any truthfulness to the content within. And I hate being a tester, because once you open it up… On the other hand, you can guarantee that if it has at least five FW’s, that the content (or instructions) within have validity to not only be truthful, but to also to hold true to the stipulations that they give you at the end.

Now, you might have the opportunity to be the “Test” group. In those circumstances you might not have any FW in the subject line. WOW! Think about that! You might actually be one of the first people to receive this. The whole email community might depend on whether or not you find the content A: Enlightening, spiritual, and informative. And B: Have stipulations at the end that will affect your life by how you do, or don’t, pass the chain on. These are very important to have in these future FW’s. If you are a tester, please take this seriously as we are all depending on you. I wish I had the courage to do these, but with the amount of fake chains out there that actually will give you the bad stipulation regardless, I chicken out. Good luck testers, I admire your fortitude.

As I stated before, if it has at least five FW’s, then you can be assured that the test group has validated the email through rigorous testing. It is safe, and necessary that you open these up and continue the chain. There is always content within that will make you feel better about yourself, or life in general. The world is a cruel place, and these emails are how we make it through it day in, and day out.

The only other thing to keep in mind, is that if you are required to send the email back to the person who sent it to you, do it! It’s very important that these emails not only have FW’s in there, but also RE’s. A proper subject line of an email of this caliber must be circulated with the appropriate “FW:RE:FW:RE:FW:RE:” Follow the instructions thoroughly and we will all benefit!

So in closing, do your friends, family, and the entire email community the service of keeping these digital liturgies going!


5:10 pm

 Eye Twitchers: Ask a Silly Question...
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I have stated before how I like to mess with people who ask dumb questions. I can’t help it, as it’s in my nature. There is something that just goes off in my brain when I get hit with one of those, and I can’t help but act on it. If I don’t my eye starts to twitch. I understand most of the time these are conversation starter attempts, but they still get me.

I’m a hat wearing peep. I love hats. Almost all of them are sports related, and I have many different ones for all different sports and teams. I’m not one of those loyal one-team-only fans either. I wear hats from a wide range of teams that I like. The other day I was wearing a Florida Gators hat (and no I don’t live in FL). The following is a conversation I had with someone (Eye Twitcher) that had to go to the place that makes my brain freak. This is one way to deal with a potential ET. Fun, fun.

I am sitting on a bench reading a short story book from Stephen King (“Nightmares and Dreamscapes” if you were curious) while I was at the park. Now when I get cynical, my responses are fast. This poor old chap had delays after almost all of my responses. I can’t figure out why…

A passer by (The ET), stops and asks, “So, you like the Gators?”

“Nope.” -Me

“You don’t? Why do wear it?” -ET

“I like the colors.” -Me

“You like the colors?” -ET

At this point I pause and reply, “That, and it helps with discussions.” –Me


“It helps with discussions?” -ET

“Did you hear that?” -Me

“Hear what?” -ET

“The echo.” –Me


“The echo?” -ET

I turn my head a bit to the side and reply, “There it is again.” –Me


“There is what again?” -ET

“Damn the acoustics suck in this park.” –Me


“The what?” -ET

“Do you like chicken?” –Me


“Do I like chicken?” -ET

“There it goes again.” –Me


“What?” -ET

“I suggest the nachos.” –Me


“What are you talking about?” -ET

“You don’t remember what this discussion is about?” -Me

“We are having a discussion?” -ET

“Maybe.” -Me

“Maybe?” -ET

“There it goes again.” –Me


“You’re an odd one.” -ET

“That’s the rumor.” -Me

He gives me a look that I could only describe as being completely flabbergasted. He scratches his head and says goodbye. I nodded and went back to my book. He looked back three times shaking his head. Yeah, that was fun.


1:48 pm

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There are so many things that just make me laugh. It makes no difference whether it’s about me, someone/thing else, or a situation. Sometimes you can’t help but to just laugh. Phobias for one, friggen kill me. I love them. I laugh at the one I have. (After the fact, mind you, never doing the occurrence.) There seems to be a phobia for just about everything, which just makes me chuckle thinking about all the possibilities.

Some of the more common phobias tend to include rats, snakes, needles, spiders, and heights. It’s funny to see the reaction when these people come across these things (As long as they are not in the extreme degree. Unfortunately that goes past funny and into concern for me). They range from shrieks, jumping up on tables, to irrational and incoherent babbling. It’s bad of me to find these humorous I know, but I just can’t help myself. It’s not that I’m mean, it’s just that I can’t help but find humor in things.

My mother hates spiders, and my wife hates snakes. Both of them pretty much have the same reaction: Get away fast, make a shrill noise, and ask someone else to deal with it. Totally understandable, but still funny.

Then you have an old friend of mine, that every time a bird got close to him, he would freak out. I still remember the first time I saw that, I about pissed myself laughing so hard. We were out with a bunch of friends at the local theme park here in Cincinnati. He was trying so hard all day to impress this girl that was with us, and didn’t seem to be making any headway. Then the event... We were walking to get in line for this rollercoaster that the girl was a little afraid to go on. He does his manly stud thing, telling her that “it was ok”, “nothing to be afraid of”, yadda-yadda-yadda. Then this blue jay dive bombs his ass. It was like the buzzing of the tower in “Topgun”. He squeals this sound like a pig, swan dives the concrete, covers his head, and starts flaying his legs. Fucking hilarious!!! Now I know this is an example of an extreme case more than likely, but it was too funny! And the kicker? After all his manly stud talk and actions that he was trying to impress the girl with, it was this event that got him the babe. See guys, sympathy techniques really do work. HA!

Then you have me. I hate bugs. But I have a fear of flying bugs. Namely bees, wasps, and hornets. Now I don’t know what all the technical names are for all these phobias, but I think mine is called something like Iscreamlikeagirlobia. (Pronounced ‘I-Scream-Like-A-Girlobia’.) Sadly, my reaction to having a wasp or bee buzz bomb me (JESUS! Say that out loud 10 times fast) produces the sound of a little girl that escapes my vocal cords. Now I have a pretty deep voice, so this in itself is funny. But I also have this weird, violent looking twitch and run thing I do at the same time. I must look like I have some sort of Peewee Herman convulsive seizure. One of these days I’m going to get that on video so I can put it in and watch myself for a good laugh. Way too funny.


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