Riftmann's Blog

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3:07 am

 Goodby Christopher, I hope it wasn't in vain...
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We buried my cousin Christopher today. He had just turned 21 in April. It was an odd and non-traditional funeral, but then again it is my family. I think the reality finally sunk in, when I saw a poster board with pictures of him at various ages, one of them with me in my early 20s and him about 5 or so. I use to drive the train at our grandparents little amusement park.

Anger filled me though when I heard the reaction of the girls who he died protecting. I'm not sure how I would react at the funeral of somebody who died saving my life, but I wouldn't act snotty, and like it was no big deal and upset everyone.

I hope dear Christopher didn't die protecting some bratty girls who think the whole world revolves around them, that were stunned that their actions had such repercussions, but apparently he did.

12:44 am

 Dealing and coping
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Being disabled with sever major depression is like some horrible greek curse in Hades. You have the time to follow any pursuit you want, but lack the motivation to even get out of bed and take a shower and brush your teeth. It's a horrible thing for a creative mind to be trapped within itself. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.

I have a good friend who is a wonderful Poser artist and is a published e-book author (and is now in print). She illlustrates her own books. I am so envious of her, it makes me feel guilty, she's such a loving and helpful person. She just has the drive and the lack of the obsticals I do. She makes it look so easy. I know it's not easy for her, she works hard, but at least she is able to do that, something I try hard just at trying...

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