I wouldn't worry much about the cropping now. You are not really there yet. That will depend on text etc.. anyway. I would focus on the mood. The facial expressions and the lighting. The dark thing is probably a gamma issue. This can be fun w/ displays.Mac taget is supposed to be 1.8 while most shoot for 2.2 on pc. However, if you are calibrated...should compensate. I checked on uncalibrated crt and it was lighter. On calibrated LCD it is still too dark. In this case the LCD can show full color range...not all can. So I bet it is a calibration issue affecting gamma. Higher gamma would wash it out abit making it grayer which would look better to you. The light tho is very orange which has a warm sense...is it intended to be evening? It matters more if you are going to print it. In other words how it prints may be totally different from how it displays.

No need to think outside the box....
    Just make it invisible.