In the midst of teaching a course about Ancient Egypt, which I had no interest in doing, since I had been hired to teach and research Greek and Roman history, it occurred to me that Frank Zappa's refrain, "Call any vegetable--call it by name--and the chances are good that that vegetable will respond to you" was a penetrating analysis of the Neolithic Revolution, in which the ancestors of present humanity identified and named items like skunk cabbage and eggplant, and in which those vegetables, named and attended, responded.
The response was monoculture, the state, and organized religion, in which priests took control of the seed and in the name of Deity developed the concept of ownership, including their ownership of the harvest.
They managed this by making the folks planting the seed and cultivating the vegetables believe that they, the priests, had a direct line to God, and that God listened carefully to what they had to say.
Work was thereby invented, and the resultant monoculture is partly responsible for the decline of Homo Neanderthalensis into Homo Sapiens, the latter of which species recently named itself, with its usual absurd and empty egoism.
After long millennia the vegetables have won and have succeeded in domesticating the human race to work, vegetarianism, and other mindless activity, like the Suburbs.
This the Priests had not foreseen.
At any rate, through a long chain of events, I became an artist, which is not repaid well by the Industrial Cinematic State unless the "art" is used to support and justify such a state.
This usually requires artists to die, so that the profits go to someone else more amenable to the State.
Therefore it always advisable, after Dada and the Surrealists, to include at least one stick of dynamite in every painted watermelon timed to go off when the work is finally understood and to blow out the brains, at long distance, of anyone who is not an artist.
This is harder than it sounds because the target is so small.
It is also necessary for the Statist to look and understand.
That is why money is important to the artist. The easiest way to get the target audience to look at and try to understand a work of art is to tell them quite truly that the art work in question either is, or some day will be, worth a lot of money to anyone who possesses it, or in other contexts, possesses a certified copy of it.
To the other artists on this site, therefore, I now offer a collector's edition of a few hundred early pieces that may disappear or change at any time.
THIS OFFER WILL NOT BE REPEATED.
Send your checks and money orders today.
Local laws apply and in some states an explosives license to store or transport these images may be required.
Copyright laws also apply. The items may be collected and enjoyed privately as a secret vice but not reproduced or used for any commercial purpose on the net or elsewhere.
There are special penalties and hidden explosive charges for thieves of ideas, including a life of guilt and mediocrity for the thieves.
If you are an artist and are inclined to do so, visit my blog at:
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