Nightmares of Fear
How can I stop nightmares created of fear,
when my doctor calls and demands I hear,
his unfeeling words "hurry to the specialist!",
I better talk more often with my therapist.
I know my fear harms me, so I hold it at bay,
which is easier to do within the light of day.
But sleep releases my real inner feelings,
And I'm powerless to stop what I am dreaming.
I will be bold, and go do what I am told,
Pray for good news so I can be consoled.
Perhaps my one kidney is just overworked,
Handling heavy medications but not really hurt.
With all the pain my syndromes deal out to me daily,
for additional "treatments", I do not have the energy!
I know and appreciate I have friends that do care,
So please if you have a spare thought or prayer,
I need extra love energy to get through this abyss,
I so need good test results, it would be sheer bliss!
My doctor called me late Friday night...I have to make "the call" to the specialist on Monday... and I have to admit I am really frightened...So many doctors over my entire life have hurt me in more ways that one... I WILL ask for "non-invasive" tests... and hope I am allowed. I have never had any experiences with kidney or liver problems (and yes I drink a ton of water with my meds)... My insane hospital stay is continuing to cast long shadows of problems! I had all my records sent to my GP doctor.....The full body cat scan showed "something" and my doctor wants a "specialist to do better imaging".... He also was the first to tell me I actually HAD pneumonia in my lower left lung! It's gone now, but my lung is struggling to heal, and breathing is still problematic. This is just NOT my year!!!
Godin's Bernadette, Fabi's hair, 3dAge's pajamas with Renapd's texture...and I could not find the readme for this background I bought at RMP (that I manipulated a lot!) DM's pose, tweaked by me. My crows. Sorry no official credit links...just trying to cope. Poser 7 & photoshop
Feb 4, 2013 12:37:18 amby bob4artist Homepage »
Sorry to hear that you are having new problems. I hope that it is just something minor. Your poems are really cool.
This is how I handle worry (fear). Don't project what might be.
If you worry and fear or you don't worry and fear the outcome is the same. The only person you hurt with worry/fear is youself. I think it's a form of acceptance of what ever the outcome will be. You deal with it after the fact. I'm never afraid of surgery and I have found out that it's much easier on my body and I heal faster. Maybe it's a form of giving up control and going with the flow. I'm not really sure. - Bob
Feb 4, 2013 9:02:20 amby GrandmaT Homepage »
Excellent work! 2012 seems to have been the year from Hell for health problems and is spilling over into 2013. Stay calm and try to de-stress yourself. My husband would recommend meditation of some sort. He has gotten through some tough spots with it. You are always in our thoughts. Wish we could carry more of the burden for you.
Feb 5, 2013 7:53:33 amby BountifulKnight Homepage »
Two reactions mingled: First, my heart aches for you going through so much and knowing how these fears can weigh on you so deeply and cause such nightmares. But second, a bit of a giggle that even when depicting fear and nightmares, your artwork is still saturated with beauty and brightness. If this art is a depiction of your darkness, then truly yours is a very bright heart indeed (as I know it is). Hang in there. Big hugs!