It's Halloween night and Cassie knows it is going to be a very boring one now that the party has been canceled. Her parents have gone to a masquerade party and will not be home until very late. Her brother Bobby went to his friend Joey's house to go trick or treating with some friends. Her being 15 she felt she was too old to go out begging for candy so she accepted the invitation to Sandy's Halloween party. Then just 3 hours before the party was to begin she recieved a phone call that Sandy's Mom had suffered a stroke and the party was called off. There was nothing left to do except watch horror flicks all night or just go to bed. She decided she wasn't really sleepy so she would curl up on the love seat and watch t.v. with a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of coke.
She got into her night shirt and went to the kitchen tossing a bag of kettle popcorn into the microwave. As it popped she thought about what her night could have been like. She and her friends had planned to go to the Haunted Trail which was located at an old farm house. There were paths through the fields with monsters jumping out around every corner. She shrugged and thought, "Oh well, I guess watching Jason for the 100th time will just have to do." She removed her popcorn from the microwave, poured it in to a bowl, smothered it in butter, grabbed a coke and went in to the living room, setting her treats down on the coffee table. She grabbed the remote and with a click of a button the t.v. flickered to life.
Half way in to the movie she heard a sound that made her blood turn cold. It sounded like a dog in severe pain. She said aloud, "Probably got hit by a car, poor thing," and she went on watching her movie. Moments passed and she heard it again, only this time it sounded like it was right outside her door. She jumped up and decided to go take a look.
Upon opening the door she noticed it was very foggy outside making it hard to see anything. The night air was chilly but she stepped outside on the porch in just her night shirt making sure she left the door open so she could get back in. The dog's howls filled the night air. "Where are you doggy?" she said with a frown. She squinted her eyes through the fog trying to see but it was useless, she couldn't even see the neighbor' house through the dense fog. She turned to go back inside when she felt as if someone were watching her. Her heart started pounding inside her chest, the palms of her hands became sweaty even in the chilled air. She jerked around only to see that noone was there. She shrugged and turned back around, pushing on the door. It didn't budge. A look of alarm washed over her face as she pushed again, harder this time. Nothing, the door was locked and she was most deffinately on the wrong side of it. "Great, what do I do now?" she thought.
She looked down at her attire. The skimpy night shirt barely covered her bottom and she had on no socks or shoes. She decided to try some windows before even attempting to go out in to that fog to a neighbor's dressed like this. She stepped off the porch and went to the living room window to the right front side of the house. There was no way she was going to get through any windows, they were just too high. She had only one other choice and that was going out back to the shed to get a ladder. Barefeet padding through the damp grass she made her way to the back yard. Upon reaching the shed the dog howled yet again. She wished it would stop as it was putting cold chills all through her. She swung open the shed door and reached for the light switch, flipped it up but nothing. No light, she flicked again and again, nothing. It was too dark inside to see and with so many sharp items inside she was afraid she would get cut if she attemted going inside. She made her way back out front and decided to try the door just one more time out of desperation. Her heart sank when it didn't open.
Her home sat atop a country side hill back off the road a bit. It was a fairly long hike down the drive and to the neighbors home and the fog would make it hard to see but she knew she had to do it. So she took a deep breath, frowned and headed down the drive as the dog howled its eerrie cry. But the cry of the dog was the least of her worries as she would soon learn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oct 10, 2008 6:45:21 pmby davidoblad Homepage »
Very cool story so far Marcy. I'd like a few more breaks every few sentences so I don't lose my place on a line. Sort of like 4-6 lines per group. More than that it's too easy to lose connection to the next line when the eye scans back to the left, to pick up the next sentence. But other than this slight readability issue, the rest is outstanding. Got me all nervous.. going on to the next page now.. Bravo and hugs from Dave :^)
Oct 11, 2008 1:08:24 pmby mikeerson Homepage »
Sorry so late with a comment, Have been busy and I'm glad I took the time to read this. It's captivating. With your background as an artist, I'd love to see you make some uploads to your stories and this one would of been killer. so many uploads of pictures you could of used. All the different things this girl Cassie (is she the daughter of Chase? lol)is going through. I wish she was 18 so you could show her in her skimpy outfit - I think you might have a problem showing a 15 year old running around in the moist air - I don't think Rendo would like to see a wet tshirt on a 15 year old - lol - so, from what I've read so far, I'd like to see you think about making her 18, make some pictures durring this next year and next Halloween posting it - it'd be awesome... Just some ideas.
Oct 12, 2008 8:59:27 pmby Chipka Homepage »
Okay, I'm LATE with this comment, and I'm also very hooked! I gotta say, you have a way with writing. It's vivid and easy to get into. You set the mood wonderfully here, and the internal realities are as well drawn as the more overtly descriptive things. Great stuff, and I'm off to read the next part.
Just a small thing...you've probably done it in later chapters, so if so, ignore this part of the comment. Because you're writing somewhat longer sections, it's easier for us readers to keep track if you put an extra space between paragraphs. It's not such a big deal, but it allows people like me to pretend that computer monitors are good for the eyes. Aside from that...I'm off to part two...rather gleefully.