I'd like to immensley thank two people.. Fran on the edge and a non brycer for helping me with this. I know at times I wanted to happily smother them both witha pillow, but their perseverence made me work hard at it.
As to the models..I pulled them from all over.. so forgive me if I can't name any. Feel free to stand up and say 'Hey,that's my model!
Is this the beginning of a story, the middle or the end? It's the viewer to tell the story....
Feb 29, 2008 5:27:30 amby FranOnTheEdge Homepage »
This is an excellent piece of work. I was privileged to watch this evolve in the forums from the first idea, and this end result shows the hard work put into it.
The pattern on the rug is just the right size for the room, and the rich colour balances the subdued decoration on the other surfaces, but that I mean the wall, which in this uniform texture provides a background for the rest of the room, and the floor with the tiles and their soft grey colour and tiny touch of reflection, also just right.
I particularly like the mirror on the wall showing the recipient of the roses, sloughing off her garments like the romance she has finished with.
The beam of light hitting the loo and dumped roses, gives a good focal point and the overall lighting enhances that - and the whole image.
Nice monogram on the towel!
Overall a very good improvement on the original, an excellent idea in the first place well carried to a great conclusion.
Very well done Rosie.
Mar 1, 2008 9:48:56 amby TheBryster Online Now! Homepage »
For me this is the middle of the story, and I immediately thought that somehow the lady was a reflection of someone in the bathroom. But that doesn't quite jive with the layout of the scene so I'm left thinking the lady is in fact a picture on the wall.
At first viewing this image seems complete and a competent piece of work, but then I'm a stickler for detail and it's the details or lack of that worry me.
There is no skirting board. Something that many artists miss or simply forget. The loo paper holder is too long and is a distraction. The porcelin mat should have some reflectivity and while the wall covering is nice it is too drab for a bathroom. It either needs changing or again some reflectivity.
The letter 'R' on the towel looks luminous because there is too little ambient light and that goes for the image as a whole. The light coming through the door is nice and does it's job well - highlighting what seems to be the focus of the piece, the roses in the toilet bowl - but this would not be diminished by raising the ambient lighting to give us a better view of the rest of the room.
There is a problem with the toilet itself. The loo-seat does not seem to be laying on the base correctly and the lid doesn't seem to be attached at all, rather seems to be hanging in the air an inch above the seat and I can't get away from the idea that you've left the toilet with a Bryce default grey mat. Which brings me to the flushing handle; it at least should have a different texture/mat to contrast from the rest of the cistern. Moving down to the waste pipe as it enters the wall, this should have a seal of some kind - a torus perhaps - just to add to the detail.
When I look at the floor I see it's covered in stone slabs. Do you really want to freeze your feet when you go to the loo in the middle of the night?
All in all it's a nice piece but there is much that could be removed and still make the point. Swing the camera to the left and show us the door. This would cut out everything to the right of the toilet which is sucking up light like a hoover. Reduce the picture on the wall to at least half it's size.
Rosie, you asked for this. I hope I delivered. And before I get slagged off for being too critical, Rosie asked me to crit the hell out of this.
Mar 2, 2008 4:29:18 amby erosiaart Homepage »
thanks thebryster..i needed that! :-) cheers..i'm back on cloud one!
the toilet seat has a ceramic mat..not the basic..
lol..the 'r' is less prominent in the larger version
skirting..thank you..i forgot that!
as for the camera angle..i cld swing it to the left..but wldn't it give you too much? here you are left hanging... wondering..creating the story... who cld be peeking? the mother? the person dumped? or was she expecting someone to walk in?
Bless your heart for criting me that hard...