My name is Philip, I live in England.
Well I have a very big interest in computers in general, starting off by building, customising and upgrading computers physically then moving into software later on in life.
I currently use a vast variety of software titles both in 2D and 3D, including Lightwave, ZBrush, Mudbox (rarely as it's on my friends computer), Photoshop, AfterEffects and Vue 6 Infinite.
I have been using Lightwave now for 4 years, spending literally without being vague the whole of the first year, every single day reading lightwave tutorials and watching training dvds and videos on the software. Well what else was there to do when you're unemplyed and have no friends? haha.
Well I'm always there to help people out in any of the above software titles if needed so ask away, I can only try :smile:.
Tears Of Sadness
All Text Below is Copyright Philip Gilson
I may be young and act like a child at times but judge me not for how I am outside but for who I am inside, for I have a lot of experience in this world,
The people around me pass me by without so much as a blink of the eye.
This is one world that only the bravest can turn heads,
Where heroes stand on the shoulder’s of giants.
I wake into a world only too familiar to me,
Birds remind me of peace,
Rain reminds me of purity,
Wind reminds me of hope.
I stand at my favourite place, close my eyes, spread my wings and let the wind take me away,
Away to a place that no one remembers, a place where there is no war or suffering in the air.
The wind gives me hope and so I remember the way life used to be, when you were the god in the sky guiding my way.
The words you speak take me away, but tears of sadness bring me back.
As I stand there looking up at your free show of wonder, grey clouds begin to form above.
And so it rains, raindrops run down my face making me shiver,
I open my eyes and realise that it isn’t raining and that I am crying.
I cry for past feelings, past memories.
I open my eyes, the sky is dark; spotlights of fame and beauty light up the sky.
Another day has gone in a matter of seconds, but it felt like a year.
Like the clouds I relate to the world, I cry for the things that happen around me.
And when this happens I feel more relaxed, eased, pure.
I have the confidence to stand up in front of people and tell others the way life is,
But I don’t have the confidence to say how much I love you.
Isn’t it strange how so few words are so powerful?
I am able to fly when I hear your name, every second with you is lived forever more in my memory.
My life is full of hurt, I need love and I’ve found it in you.
You are my dreams, you are my world,
The answer to all my problems.
We try to improve ourselves, yet we live our life in fear of change,
We are born ready to fight for freedom yet we are afraid of pain,
We cry for many reasons and yet the same tear falls,
We are told without words about a world where every man & woman stands in freedom, yet we live by rules.
We say we love one another yet we kill those next to us.
You may cry tears of joy but I cry tears of sadness.
My motto in life is simple, for most simple to the mouth, for few simple to the ear.
This makes me worry as most hear me crying but never understand it.
They speak of my hurt but don’t understand what I speak.
As I look at you now through this small window I can see you smile as the world smiles back at you.
As I see you now, you look at me and smile as I smile back at you.
As others see you, my fear of losing you grows but I keep smiling and keep looking at you,
You notice me amongst the crowd and that makes me believe in you even more.
You are my dreams, you are my happiness,
The answer to all my problems.
When I sleep I dream of a once peaceful world,
But things have a habit of turning into nightmares when you are not looking.
So I try not to close my eyes and lie in my bed crying tears of sadness.
I walk the world I know only too well,
The people I see walk in straight lines, following each other’s footsteps so as not to get lost in this huge world.
My walk is slow, I have no one to follow, but I mark my footsteps with tears of sadness.
When I wake tomorrow I will look forward to seeing you again so I don’t worry.
The wind lifts me and brings me to you.
The rain clears my thoughts,
The birds remind me of freedom so I go without thought.
If it’s one thing that I’ve learnt it’s that thoughts can stop you from being who you are,
Thoughts cloud your judgement; you start to trust the voice in your head and not your heart.
As I stand in my favourite place looking up at the stars looking at your name it shines brighter than ever,
I take a deep breathe and close my eyes once more opening them to see your face,
Your very name brings me to you and you answer always with a smile.
Life is much simpler with a smile, it is easy to do and can heal the smallest wounds.
My worldly troubles fade away when you smile.
You are the healing hands that I have been reaching for all my life.
We say we are a clean race, yet we pollute the world,
You say sorry, but you do it again,
You hide the truth to prevent people from getting hurt, yet the truth is shown in your face,
You speak of answers when reading a book, yet the book does not answer your call.
You speak of love when you see each other, yet you lie when you say you can love no other,
You may cry tears of happiness but I cry tears of sadness.
“Try not to see what is visible in a person but what is not, for this is who they really are”.